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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Business & Finance

Is this ad headline correct?

73% of companies have this flaw in sales and marketing; where each relies on 1 'Superstar' salesman to generate the most revenues

Thanks in advance for feedback
  

Top answer

Hi, 73% of companies have this flaw in sales and marketing; where each relies on 1 'Superstar' salesman to generate the most revenue. Sorry, but it seems much too long, too loosely written and too boring to be a headline! Clive

— Clive

  • Hi, 73% of companies have this flaw in sales and marketing; where each relies on 1 'Superstar' salesman to generate the most revenue.
  • Sorry, but it seems much too long, too loosely written and too boring to be a headline!
  • Clive
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4 Answers
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Hi,

73% of companies have this flaw in sales and marketing; where each relies on 1 'Superstar' salesman to generate the most revenue.

Sorry, but it seems much too long, too loosely written and too boring to be a headline!


Clive
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Thanks Clive. I don't mind if the headline is long and my aim is NOT to be sensational (because my target audience is very conservative). The headline is more about deductions from the past; rather than future projections.
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Hi,

I wasn't suggesting it needs to be sensational, but a headline needs to have a little 'punch' and precision.

It's up to you, of course.

Clive
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I forgot to mention the headlines is made of 2 parts:

A. 73% of companies have this flaw; where each relies on 1 Superstar salesman to generate the most revenue

B. This is how you build an 'All-star' sales team in less than 3 months

Each headline has its own illustration

The ad aims to attract the audience's attention to problems in marketing they're not aware
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