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Wilson_beh Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Is this a good writing?? Please Comment! THanks

0There has almost nothing been spectacular in my lengthy career of teaching Physics in various secondary schools until recently, when I was baffled by a boy, Stanley, with a series of questions asked and by his unique and often astounding way of reasoning the theory of certain Physics questions. I could not help but accusing myself in suspecting that he could be possibly be yet another genius boy of this country. 02br
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00 00My close watching from various different angles at him for months revealed and infused me with the conviction that, to a certain degree he is with the much above average level of intelligence. Meanwhile it was my anguish to learn that his superiority was marred by his overly tight schedule in participating too actively in various activities. It prompted me with my repeated proposal for him to be reexamined by the more professional bodies or examination boards and be transferred to a more favorable environment, possibly certain college to extend the full potential in his studies. Only to be turned down by his parents, while I was having some fierce competitors, from many other teachers who equally insisted and reiterated that his outstanding leadership is urgently needed and his robust personality is crucial in leading various activities, under the simple excuse of cultivating an excellent leader.00 02br
00There stands nobody to predict and foresee the result or outcome with singularly accuracy. But I have my very own reason to support my thesis that he will certainly do very well and excellent in his studies.02br
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2 Answers
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0I suggest that you stop trying to use the most complex word for each meaning - it is creating a pompous, slightly comical, style, and is making some parts unclear.0-
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0It's also too wordy.02br
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00For example:02br
00But I have my very own reason to support my thesis that he will certainly do very well and excellent in his studies.02br
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00You can simply say "He will do very well in his studies" without losing any meaning.0-

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