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Borealis Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing

Is this a good motivational letter for uni?

Dear Ms. x,
I am writing to apply for a position in the Industrial Sciences course in September 2015. My career ambition is to become a professional capable of contributing to the next generation of scientific technologies and instruments. I hope to graduate in electronic or electromechanical engineering.
My interest in engineering stems from my passion of astrophysics – more specifically, the ingenious devices used to explore and understand the world around us. The way some of these technologies work put even the most ambitious fantasy books to shame. In the modern world the scientists are the real alchemists, the engineers are the true wizards.
My keen interest for computers and programming have taught me to be efficient and adaptable. I enjoy tinkering, working in a team to solve problems, and finding novel solutions. Through computers my interest spiraled into more fundamental questions – what is computation itself, how is it done? Embracing new ideas have led us to quantum computation and will soon lead us to strong artificial intelligence. I aspire to be at the bleeding edge of this technological revolution.
I’ve applied to Z because I am looking to add practical experience to my mostly theoretical education.

Sincerely, G

I tried to keep it short, simple and straightforward. How do I come off as? Am I missing anything? Any advice highly appreciated, thanks!
  

Top answer

&Here are a few comments. Borealis Am I missing anything? Make it more personal and distinctive.

  • &Here are a few comments.
  • Borealis Am I missing anything?
  • Make it more personal and distinctive.
  • A thousand others could say exactly the same thing as you have.
  • I hope to graduate in electronic or electromechanical engineering.
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1 Answers
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&Here are a few comments.
BorealisAm I missing anything?
Make it more personal and distinctive. A thousand others could say exactly the same thing as you have.

I hope to graduate in electronic or electromechanical engineering. (When?)

My interest in engineering stems from my passion of astrophysics – more specifically, the ingenious dev

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