Is this a good introduction?

"[E-FACTOR 7 ONLINE, WHAT’S THE FUN?]At home like this, you must watch EF!A huge question is raised. The E-Factor contest is traditionally held live format; those who review the vlog of E-Factor 6 have also felt the attraction of the Showdown Day. So, will E-Factor 7 make a breakthrough when held online?If you still have not realized the special benefits, we would like to “enlarge” them with a super fun photo album below!"This is not a post written by a native, I think it's a little bit weird about the phrase "what's the fun", "when held online", "if you still have not realized". Is it okay to use those phrase?