Is there anything wrong with the following sentences?

Question

"Immortals could never be seen walking around at night. Unless there was cause for celebration, a party, or a gathering."

Please be specific with labeling any problems you find and where they are.
Multiple replies (even if they have the same answer) are appreciated.

-Deanna

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

This is a bad beginning, Deanna.  You are looking for free help from volunteers; you are not purchasing a service.  We would like you to make an effort to do your own homework first:  please try to fix any problems in your sentences yourself. and then we will check your effort.

Anonymous · Answer

I was trying to make it sound as unbiased as possible. I know how to write, I promise. I'm in an argument with someone and he won't believe that my corrections are correct, so I was getting a second opinion. Now, could you please answer my question?

Mister Micawber · Answer

We are not here to settle arguments, either, Deanna. If you are arguing, then what do you think is wrong with the sentences?

Anonymous · Answer

Really? Because it's a grammar/mechanics question. "How would you fix it?"
You don't tell one doctor what the other doctor said when you're getting a second opinion. You see if the other doctor gets to the same conclusion independently.
It's easier to say "Yeah, I guess that could be a way to fix it," but I needed to see if anyone else could correct it the exact same way I did. If I lay it out for you it's not the same.
If you feel that you're too high above the world to answer a simple question, I'll take my business elsewhere.

Thanks.

Anonymous · Answer

Here is how I would say it

Immortals would never be seen walking around at night unless there was cause for celebration; a party or gathering.

I am not Deanna

Mister Micawber · Answer

AnonymousI am not Deanna

No, you are Alex.

Is there anything wrong with the following sentences?

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions