Is there anybody who wants to correct my english assignment?

Question

Hey is there anbody who wants to correct my gramma in my english assignment?I hope so (:If  there is any one that want i will send you the assigment..(:

Mumi-girl · Accepted Answer

Here is the text.. I would be so glad if someone corrects my gramma..

I stayed with a single mother, Mary, far out on Alabama’s empty roads in a shack without water and toilet, but at least with electricity, a TV which often really functioned, and an old refrigerator which looked good against the cardboard walls of the shack. Both Mary and I romanticized our relationship there in the middle of Alabama’s seething racism, and she had three pistols and a rifle to defend herself, in case something should go wrong. The days I spend there with her and her son, John, were joyful and relaxing.

When I had to go away for some time to be present at a Ku Klux Klan meeting up in Kentucky, Mary gave me a silver cross which should protect me on the journey. But it should later come to my knowledge that Mary could have had more use of this silver cross then I. Apparently without any other reason than that she had had a white man staying in her house three white men one night threw a incendiary bomb into her kitchen, and the whole house was in flames in a matter of seconds. Herself and John made it out of the house, but her brother who lay sleeping, died in the fire and all what later on was found of him was his teeth. Later Mary told me about the accident:

Mary: My dog also died.

- You said the fire started in the kitchen, and that someone had thrown a petrol bomb in there?

- It doesn’t really matter…yes, they did.

- What happened when you came out on the road?

- I tried to get in three times to get my brother out…I couldn’t, everything was on fire.

- Who found the remains of your brother?

- People who came over here afterwards…

- What did they find?

- I don’t know what they found, I was still in shock.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

mumi-girlHere is the text.. I would be so glad if someone corrects my grammar..

I stayed with a single mother, Mary, far out on Alabama’s empty roads in a shack without water or ~~and~~ toilet, but at least with electricity, a TV which often really functioned, and an old refrigerator which looked good against the cardboard walls of the shack. ~~Both~~ Mary and I romanticized our relationship there in the middle of Alabama’s seething racism, and she had three pistols and a rifle to defend herself, in case something should go wrong. The days I spend there with her and her son, John, were joyful and relaxing.

When I had to go away for some time to be present at a Ku Klux Klan meeting up in Kentucky, Mary gave me a silver cross to ~~which should~~ protect me on the journey. But it ~~should~~ later came to my knowledge (Better: Later I realized that .. or, Later, I became aware that.. It turned out that ... Mary needed the protection of this silver cross more than I did. You could also use the word "amulet" as an item that people wear for protection against evil.) that Mary could have ~~had more~~ used of this silver cross more than I. Apparently for no ~~without any~~ other reason than ~~that~~ she had had a white man staying in her house. Three white men one night threw an incendiary bomb into her kitchen, and the whole house was in flames in a matter of seconds. She ~~Herself~~ and John made it out of the house, but her brother who lay sleeping, died in the fire, and all what later on was found of him was his teeth. Later Mary told me about the accident: (It does not sound like an accident to me... maybe incident would be a better word.)

Mary: My dog also died.

- You said the fire started in the kitchen, and that someone had thrown a petrol bomb in there?

- It doesn’t really matter…yes, they did.

- What happened when you came out on the road?

- I tried to get in three times to get my brother out…I couldn’t, everything was on fire.

- Who found the remains of your brother?

- People who came over here afterwards…

- What did they find?

- I don’t know what they found, I was still in shock.

BarbaraPA · Answer

Aside from grammatical issues, there is a problem with this essay in that the race of the two main characters is important, but you have to figure it out. They lived there amidst the racism - so you assume perhaps they are black. But then he does to a KKK meeting, so they must be white. But then white men attack her for living with a white man, so she must be black. And it frankly makes no sense that Klan member would live with a black woman, unless you had previously established that he went to Klan meetings as part of some sort of undercover investigation or something.

(Also, wouldn't say "petrol" in the US. We'd call it a molotov cocktail or a gasoline bomb.)

Mumi-girl · Answer

Hi, thanks for taking the time to correct it.

I should maybe say that this is a translation. I live in Denmark and the assignment is to translate it from danish to english.

I stayed with a single mother, Mary, far out on Alabama’s empty roads in a shack without water or (in my text in danish it says "and" ..is it incorrect to write and?) ~~and~~ toilet, but at least with electricity, a TV which often really functioned, and an old refrigerator which looked good against the cardboard walls of the shack. (in my text in danish it says "Both" so i needs to be included it, but is it incorret if i write it there og should it stand somewhere else?)~~Both~~ Mary and I romanticized our relationship there in the middle of Alabama’s seething racism, and she had three pistols and a rifle to defend herself, in case something should go wrong. The days I spend there with her and her son, John, were joyful and relaxing.

When I had to go away for some time to be present at a Ku Klux Klan meeting up in Kentucky, Mary gave me a silver cross to (in my text in danish is says "which should" you know, the meaning is that the silver cross should protect, so what can i do about that?) ~~which should~~ protect me on the journey. But it ~~should~~ later came to my knowledge (i will use "Later it turned out") (Better: Later I realized that .. or, Later, I became aware that.. It turned out that ... Mary needed the protection of this silver cross more than I did. You could also use the word "amulet" as an item that people wear for protection against evil.) that Mary could have ~~had more~~ used of this silver cross more than I. Apparently for no ~~without any~~ other reason than ~~that~~ she had had a white man staying in her house. Three white men one night threw an incendiary bomb into her kitchen, and the whole house was in flames in a matter of seconds. (in my text in danish it says herself.. what can i do aboút that?) She ~~Herself~~ and John made it out of the house, but her brother who lay sleeping, died in the fire, and all what later on was found of him was his teeth. Later Mary told me about the accident: (It does not sound like an accident to me... maybe incident would be a better word.)

I hope you can understand what i said (: and thank you for helping..

Mumi-girl · Answer

Hi tanks for taking your time to help me (:

can you point out what the grammatical issues are?

This is a translation, my assignmen was to translate from danish to english.. so i have not written this just translated.. (:

Yankee · Answer

mumi-girl(in my text in danish it says "and" ..is it incorrect to write and?)

No, it's not really wrong with "and", but I agree that in English the text seems better with "or".

mumi-girl(in my text in danish it says "Both" so i needs to be included it, but is it incorret if i write it there og should it stand somewhere else?)~~Both~~ Mary and I romanticized our relationship

No, it is not incorrect to use the word "both".

mumi-girlMary gave me a silver cross to (in my text in danish is says "which should" you know, the meaning is that the silver cross should protect, so what can i do about that?) ~~which should~~ protect me on the journey.

Overly direct translations are often bad translations. I also like the use of the word "to" there.

mumi-girl(in my text in danish it says herself.. what can i do aboút that?) She ~~Herself~~ and John made it out of the house

Use "she".

Is there anybody who wants to correct my english assignment?

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