0
Wholegrain Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

Is there any mistake?

To assess whether we live under a democracy, there is an essential condition that serves as a criteria to our judgment and that we must consider: transparency. Without it, the majority do not effectively take part in the crucial process of decision-making. Indeed, in order to be effectively a democracy, the system must insure the ability to take an enlightened decision to each and every one in their best interest within a political system that is just so that a plurality of parties can co-exist and without the interference of corporate interests. I argue that we don't live under a democratic system. In a democratic system, political influence does not amount to corporate power; yet, it does in our system: take our media for instance, as a result of lobby and market incentives, many news are censored and it seeks to attract more audiences rather than inform or educate the public; there needs to be a division between the market and the media. Also, our ability to vote candidates in and out of the White House translates into little power; in fact, between the two major US parties, there is only a slight nuance in policy. Moreover, the Congress has literally no influence over the Pentagon, which is setting military bases all over the world not for the sole fun of it. There is no democracy in America, if not, little.
  

Top answer

wholegrain To assess whether we live under a democracy, there is an essential condition that serves as a criteria criterion (singular) to for our judgment and that we must consider: transparency. Without it, the majority do not effectively take part in the crucial process of decision-making. Indeed, in order to be effectively be a democracy, the system must insure the ability to Whoa!

  • wholegrain To assess whether we live under a democracy, there is an essential condition that serves as a criteria criterion (singular) to for our judgment and that we must consider: transparency.
  • Without it, the majority do not effectively take part in the crucial process of decision-making.
  • Indeed, in order to be effectively be a democracy, the system must insure the ability to Whoa!
  • ***** take an enlightened decision to each and every one in their best interest within a political system that is just so that a plurality of parties can co-exist and without the interference of corporate interests.
  • I argue that we don't live under a democratic system.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

4 Answers
0
wholegrainTo assess whether we live under a democracy, there is an essential condition that serves as a criteria criterion (singular) to for our judgment and that we must consider: transparency. Without it, the majority do not effectively take part in the crucial process of decision-making. Indeed, in order to be effec
0
Wow, there's a lot of mistakes, a lot more than I thought there was.

Thank you for your help. It is really helpful.
0
take an enlightened decision to each and every one in their best interest within a political system that is just so that a plurality of parties can co-exist and without the interference of corporate interests.

=

alow them to take an elightened decision in a fair system without the interference of corporate interests (metonymy).
0
Hi,
Be aware that "take a decision" is BrE and "make a decision" is AmE.

I think your new version is terriffic. - and a very quick response!

- A.

P.S., Note that a lot of my so-called corrections were merely breaking one sentence into two. I'd suggest that reading your stuff aloud may give you some new insight into phrasing.

Related Questions