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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Is there any grammar mistake?
SuddenlyCinderella comes back home, she saw Sam is in her house, and eating the chocolate, so she starts Shoutingat him, she thinks Sam is a thief, she throw the pots at him, Sam pull Cinderella`s both arm and call Cinderella to calm down, and start to tall her the reason why he is here,unexpectedlyher stepmother and her sisters come back home, they saw the house is a mass, and they thoughtCinderella is hugging with Sam, so her stepmother turned she and Sam out of the house, Cinderella and Sam want to explan, but her stepmothedo not listen, and she just call her sisters to throw her things outside.
Cinderellafeels despair and decied to go to the castle to find the prince, she take her luggage with her. Sam feels sorry to Cinderella, but he do not know what can he do, so he follow Cinderella.
They walk in theforest,and pass the river, through the jungle finally, they arrive to the castle, but when they arrive, it is half year later, the prince is already get marry, Cinderella feels desperation.
At this time, they heard an old man is talking a legend, the legend say that there is a wizard that lives in the desert, and she has a time machine can let the time return, but many warrior die in the way they go.
Sam heard that and decide to left Cinderella, and go himself,he wants to do this to apologizeto Cinderella, first Cinderella refuse, but afterward she was convince by Sam.
The next day Sam set off to go to the desert, On the way to the desert, he beat the camel Legion and the eagle Legion, finally he saw the wizard`s house it`s on the top of cactus, he must climb up the cactus or he won`t go in to the house, he wants to give up, but when he think of Cinderella, he feels sorry for her, so he climb up the cactus, then he arrive the house, he saw the time machine, he starts to turn the time back to the day he went to Cinderella`s house, when he try to turn the last number, the wizard aware, and wants to make him in to a stone carving, Then Cinderella arise,formerly Cinderella follow her all away , then they beat the wizard together, finally they turn the last number.
Cinderellafeels despair and decied to go to the castle to find the prince, she take her luggage with her. Sam feels sorry to Cinderella, but he do not know what can he do, so he follow Cinderella.
They walk in theforest,and pass the river, through the jungle finally, they arrive to the castle, but when they arrive, it is half year later, the prince is already get marry, Cinderella feels desperation.
At this time, they heard an old man is talking a legend, the legend say that there is a wizard that lives in the desert, and she has a time machine can let the time return, but many warrior die in the way they go.
Sam heard that and decide to left Cinderella, and go himself,he wants to do this to apologizeto Cinderella, first Cinderella refuse, but afterward she was convince by Sam.
The next day Sam set off to go to the desert, On the way to the desert, he beat the camel Legion and the eagle Legion, finally he saw the wizard`s house it`s on the top of cactus, he must climb up the cactus or he won`t go in to the house, he wants to give up, but when he think of Cinderella, he feels sorry for her, so he climb up the cactus, then he arrive the house, he saw the time machine, he starts to turn the time back to the day he went to Cinderella`s house, when he try to turn the last number, the wizard aware, and wants to make him in to a stone carving, Then Cinderella arise,formerly Cinderella follow her all away , then they beat the wizard together, finally they turn the last number.
Top answer
Be consistent with your use of tense. You are mixing the present tense with the simple past tense. You have several words run together.
- Be consistent with your use of tense.
- You are mixing the present tense with the simple past tense.
- You have several words run together.
- The first two words of the story are run together (SuddenlyCinderella).
- Additionally, you need to use apostrophes.
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3 Answers
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Be consistent with your use of tense. You are mixing the present tense with the simple past tense. You have several words run together. The first two words of the story are run together (SuddenlyCinderella). Additionally, you need to use apostrophes. In the first paragraph I think you meant that "the stepmother threw her and Sam out of the house."
After you make those corrections, send us
After you make those corrections, send us
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Suddenly Cinderella comes back home, she see Sam is in her house, and eating the chocolate, so she starts shout at him, she thinks Sam is a thief, she threw the pots at him, Sam pulls Cinderella`s both arm and calls Cinderella to calm down, and start to tall her the reason why he is here, unexpectedly her stepmother and her sisters come back home, they see the house is a mass, and they thought Cin
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Suddenly Cinderella comes back home, she see Sam is in her house, and eating the chocolate, so she starts shout at him, she thinks Sam is a thief, she threw the pots at him, Sam pulls Cinderella`s both arm and calls Cinderella to calm down, and start to tall her the reason why he is here, unexpectedly her stepmother and her sisters come back home, they see the house is a mass, and they thought Cin
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