Is there any English mistake?

Question

From what I have garnered, the government puts a lot of importance in having the support of the public when it comes to wide-reaching policies, especially foreign policies. From that knowledge, you might suppose that the government put some form of system whereby they incentive private media companies to adjust their content to allow the government to reach their policy goals, without seemingly sharing the same bed, if I may say so. I think it is very wrong to assume that these kind of informal relations don't exist. It would certainly be very naive to claim that there is no such thing. There must be! There is no proof of the contrary and what you can observe in the media suggest that it is very much the case.

KrisBlueNZ · Accepted Answer

I like the ideas in this article! Grammatically it's pretty good too, but I have a few suggestions. I like to do this step-by-step, starting with simple corrections, then compactness using better word choices, and finally sentence reorganization.

BTW, have you considered becoming a member of EnglishForward? I often don't reply to messages from "Anonymous". It's free to join, you know!

From what I have garnered, the government ~~puts~~ places a lot of importance in on having the support of the public when it comes to wide-reaching policies, especially foreign policies.
It seems to me that public support is very important to the government when it comes to wide-reaching policies, especially foreign policies.
Public support for wide-reaching policies, especially foreign policies, seems to be very important to the government.

From that knowledge, ~~you~~ one might suppose that the government would put in place some form of system whereby they could ~~incentive~~ incentivize private media companies to adjust their content to allow the government to reach their policy goals, without ~~seemingly sharing~~ appearing to share the same bed, if I ~~may say so~~ can put it like that.
One might therefore suppose that the government would implement some ~~form~~ kind of incentive system to encourage private media companies to adjust their content to ~~allow~~ help the government to gain this public support, while maintaining the appearance of independence and neutrality.
The government therefore has a motive to implement some kind of incentive system to encourage private media companies to skew their content in order to cultivate public support, while they still appear to be independent and neutral.

I think it is ~~very~~ wrong to assume that these ~~kind of~~ informal ~~relations~~ relationships don't exist. It would certainly be very naive to claim that there is no such thing.
I think it is naive to assume that such informal relationships do not exist.
I think it is naive to assume that such relationships do not exist.

There must be!
I personally would not say "There must be!", because that is very much a statement of opinion and is not backed by any evidence. Your paragraph starts out being (or at least appearing to be) unbiased and factual, but putting that statement in there destroys your credibility, in my opinion. This is not an English grammar issue, it's just my opinion from a style point of view.

There is no proof of to the contrary ...
Certainly there is no proof to the contrary, but you wouldn't expect any. I would explain a bit further. You could mention that governmental and media figures are free to meet and communicate privately, without public disclosure, and because the potential rewards for both parties may be so huge, there is a big motive for corruption on both sides, and the possibility of corruption cannot be discounted. I know that "possibility of corruption cannot be discounted" is very tame compared to what you (and I) think, but sometimes, showing a bit of restraint can help your credibility :-)

... and what ~~you~~ anyone can observe in the media ~~suggest~~ suggests that it this is very much the case.
Again this is a personal opinion and I think you should say so.
... and based on my own media consumption, I firmly believe there is a problem. (Or something like that.)

Is there any English mistake?

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