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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Grammar
Is there a better way to word this sentence?
I want to convey the shifting of t-shirt fabric but I can't seem to find a good way of stating it?
The letters spelling “Vineyard” across the top of her back shifts when she throws the baseball.
The letters spelling “Vineyard” across the top of her back shifts when she throws the baseball.
Top answer
This is what I call a written derail. Your syntax runs your reader off the tracks of your sentence. First of all, what's shifting is letters, plural, but you've got a singular verb, so your reader will read The letters spelling “Vineyard” across the top of her back shifts when she throws the baseball.
- This is what I call a written derail.
- Your syntax runs your reader off the tracks of your sentence.
- First of all, what's shifting is letters, plural, but you've got a singular verb, so your reader will read The letters spelling “Vineyard” across the top of her back shifts when she throws the baseball.
- " Your reader will wonder why some poor girl has thrown her back out before they get to the baseball.
- Unfortunately using the right number doesn't help much because "back shift" has lots of meanings in different contexts like labor scheduling, automotive design, couture, grammar, and so on.
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1 Answers
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This is what I call a written derail. Your syntax runs your reader off the tracks of your sentence. First of all, what's shifting is letters, plural, but you've got a singular verb, so your reader will read
The letters spelling “Vineyard” across the top of her back shifts when she throws the baseball.
"Back" is singular and goes with
The letters spelling “Vineyard” across the top of her back shifts when she throws the baseball.
"Back" is singular and goes with
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