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Rommel Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Is the arrangement of words in this sentence correct?

Is the arrangement of words in this sentence correct? Should I put the phrase for a political cause at the end?
  • Extremists could release toxic biological agents like viruses, bacteria, and toxins for a political cause to harm the public. 
  

Top answer

I'd consider putting the phrase at the front. You are saying . .

— Clive

  • I'd consider putting the phrase at the front.
  • You are saying .
  • .
  • toxic .
  • .
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10 Answers
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I'd consider putting the phrase at the front.

You are saying . . . toxic . . . toxins . . . Can you find a way to avoid this repetition?
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CliveI'd consider putting the phrase at the front
Clive, is this what you mean putting the phrase at the front? For a political cause extremists could release biological agents like viruses, bacteria, and toxins to harm the public.
CliveYou are saying . . . toxic . . . toxins . . .
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I prefer "To further a political cause" but maybe it's just me.

Consider "harmful biological agents" and lose the final prepositional phrase. "Political cause" and "release" imply a public attack.
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So I can rewrite the sentence as follows?

Extremists could release harmful biological agents like viruses, bacteria, and toxins to further a political cause.
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Yes. I have a prejudice in favor of sentences like these. Which probably means I won't sell much fiction.

Who is the focus? (Subject) Extremists. First word.
What action could they take? (Verb) release. Third word.
When and Where? (auxiliary) could. Second word. Subjunctive mood to express a possibility so any time, any place.
What could they release? (Direct object)
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deadratWhy would they do that? final prepositional phrase.
deadrat, isn't it that to further a political cause is an infinitive phrase?
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Yes, indeed. My error.
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I do understand, deadrat. Anyway, I like very much the way you explain my sentence in detail. I'll keep that in mind.
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