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Anonymous Posted 8 years ago
Grammar

Is my sentence grammatically correct

By pursuing my degree in occupational therapy, I'll be more knowledgeable about the factors that may impact the daily activities of individuals afflicted by one or more disability; i.e. the disability's characteristics, individuals' temperament, the individuals' state of living, etc.

  

Top answer

Too wordy, and to no purpose. In pursuing my degree in occupational therapy, I will become more knowledgeable about the factors that impact the daily activities of those afflicted with disabilities.

  • Too wordy, and to no purpose.
  • In pursuing my degree in occupational therapy, I will become more knowledgeable about the factors that impact the daily activities of those afflicted with disabilities.
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1 Answers
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Too wordy, and to no purpose.

In pursuing my degree in occupational therapy, I will become more knowledgeable about the factors that impact the daily activities of those afflicted with disabilities.

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