Is my monologue 'moving' enough?

For my Drama classwork I had to write a monologue from the perspective of a woman talking at her daughter's funeral. Cheery, I know. I wasn't sure if it's moving enough or performable. Basically, I'm not sure whether it's good enough.

At some point in everyone’s lives there is a black and white moment where everything just stops. That’s what happened when I looked down at my daughter’s young face. I would never see her grow up. She’s frozen at eleven forever.

Maybe I cried, maybe I didn’t, I can’t really remember, it’s most definitely a bit of a blur! People said they were ‘here for me’ and ‘sorry for my loss’ but how could they feel what I’m feeling? I'm missing part of body and mind, it’s like I’ve actually lost part of my brain. My baby’s gone and I’m never getting her back but I’ve accepted that.

It doesn’t mean I’m not still grieving, I’ve just accepted the facts of life. Death, it’ll happen whether you like it or not.

Thanks [L]