Is my letter correct in English?

Elena1989:

Hi! My name is Veronica, I am from Belarus. I want to enter to the university in Italy. I wrote a motivation letter, but I worry about my English. Can anyone check my letter for English correctness? I will also grateful if somebody can tells me is it good motivation letter? I just have never wrote it, so it's my first motivation letter.
Thank you for reading.

UNIVERSITY OF -/-
Programme: Quantitative Finance

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a five-year student majoring in economics of the Faculty of -/- at -/- University. I would like to apply for the Master of Quantitative Finance programme in the Faculty of Economics at University of -/-.

I started paying attention to finance at the second year of my education within the study of international economics. At that time in the world there was developing the global financial crisis, which began particularly interest me. I initiated the writing of the research project about the global financial crisis on the thesis: "Global financial crisis: peculiarities and impact upon the world economy" and "Comparative analysis of anti-recessionary policy in the USA and European Union." During the research I have studied the impact of the global financial crisis also upon the Republic of Belarus. I have found the financial market, particularly the securities market, in Belarus is almost not developed and the economy requires the inflow of foreign investments, developing the financial instruments and methods of financial market regulation. I decided that a career in the financial area in my country can give me many opportunities, but also it will make possible for me to develop the financial market and to facilitate attracting the foreign investments in Belarus.

Since August of 2011 I have started working in the State Design Company "-/-". On the first days of work I took the initiative and offered myself as an assistant in the preparation of the section "The efficiency of investments". I analyzed the state project, in which I have calculated the financial ratios and the efficiency indicators of investments, I have assessed the project risks. Working in the state enterprise I got added evidence that Belarusian companies needs new methods and tools of financial analysis, specialized software and professionals in financial area. At the present I work in the investment company "-/-" as an investment specialist. I make financial models and analyze the market, my duties also include express-evaluation of companies, risk assessment, preparation of documents related to mergers and acquisitions, attraction of investments, business correspondence with foreign partners / investors, translation of documents in English.

Working for six months in the investment area, I experience the need of more in-depth knowledge in this field. The efficiency of investments depends primarily on the accuracy of risk assessment and analysis of financial data. Master programme will enable me to get this specialized knowledge in the particular area "Quantitative Finance". It should be noted that in Belarus there is no analogue of the programme Quantitative Finance and such in-depth knowledge I can only get abroad.

Moreover I have a mathematical mind; I graduated from the Gymnasium of Physics and Mathematics ?51 in Minsk with honours. Studying in the programme of Quantitative Finance I will be fully able to use my mathematical skills.

I deliberately chose the University of -/-: it is one of the oldest universities in Europe with a long history and some of the best teachers. Besides I study Italian as a second foreign language in my university. I want to mention when I was 11 years old, I traveled to Italy by the programme "Children of Chernobyl", and stayed with an Italian family 2 months, I already knew I will definitely study Italian. Studying in Italy will be conducive to my improvement of Italian language, exploring the Italian culture, as well as the financial system and the economy of Italy. Even in my research project about the global financial crisis I paid much attention to the anti-recessionary policy of Italy, and I'll be glad to get the opportunity to conduct research of the financial system right in the country. Thus, participated in the programme Work and Travel USA, I learned about American culture and mentality, practised my English, that now I successfully apply for communicating with business partners from the United States.

The knowledge I will gain in the learning of Quantitative Finance and international experience would help to develop the financial market of Belarus, to apply innovative for my country methods of financial analysis and risk assessment, to validate the financial profitability of investment projects, to develop business relations between Belarus and European Union, particularly with Italy. The newest methods of assessment and analysis of financial data will enhance the confidence of foreign investors to investment projects that will ensure a secure inflow of foreign direct and portfolio investments to the Republic of Belarus. I aim to become a professional who would be able to facilitate positive changes in investment life of Belarusian society.

Yours faithfully