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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Is my grammar correct?

Kabeer noted that the Millenium Development Goals initiative is to develop a comprehensive policy that seeks to understand the nature of poverty in order strategically reduce its implications on society and simultaneously outline resolutions in order to achieve social justice (2003, pg.x).
  

Top answer

x) I feel that your sentence is rather wordy and unclear. I have tried to clarify what I think you mean. You should consider using more than one sentence for more clarity.

— Clive

  • x) I feel that your sentence is rather wordy and unclear.
  • I have tried to clarify what I think you mean.
  • You should consider using more than one sentence for more clarity.
  • Clive
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2 Answers
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Kabeer noted that the Millenium Development Goals initiative is to develop a comprehensive policy that seeks to understand the nature of poverty in order to strategically reduce its implications on society, and that simultaneously seeks to
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It needs breaking up There is absolutely NO punctuation that is desperately needed so that if it were being read out the reader would not pass out due to lack of taking a breath anywhere
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