Is my English sentence correct and formal?

Question

Dear professor I.,Mr. J. N. and I are two master students in Biomechanics and interested in your field of research. Currently we are working on the mechanobiological aspects in orthopedic Biomechanics and bone tissue engineering and according to your background in these field of research would hope to have you support in our research in the framework of mutual collaboration. We sent a an email from our supervisor professor R. but we didn't receive any email in reply. We thought perhaps you didn't receive our email. Therefore we are sending this email again.Subsequent to your positive response we will propound our concerns and questions in the our investigations.We look forward to your positive feedback.Best regards,

Noman Siddiqui 6557 · Accepted Answer

please see the below, i have tried to correct your email.

Mr. J. N. and I are two master students in Biomechanics and interested in your field of research. Currently we are working on the mechanobiological aspects in orthopedic Biomechanics and bone tissue engineering and according to your background in this field of research would hope to have your support in our research in the framework of mutual collaboration. We sent an email from our supervisor professor R. but we didn't receive any email in reply. We thought you didn't receive our email. Therefore we are sending this email again. Subsequent to your positive response we will propound our concerns and questions in the our investigations. We look forward to your positive feedback. Best regards,

Enoon · Answer

baseriMr. J. N. and I are two master students in Biomechanics and interested in your field of research.

Mr. J. N. and I are two masters students in Biomechanics interested in your field of research.

The first "are" is the verb "to be" used as such. You can't use it as the auxiliary verb in the next phrase.

baseriCurrently we are working on the mechanobiological aspects in orthopedic Biomechanics and bone tissue engineering and according to your background in these field of research would hope to have you support in our research in the framework of mutual collaboration.

Currently we are working on the mechanobiological aspects of orthopedic biomechanics and bone tissue engineering, and given your background in these fields, we would hope to have your support in our research in the framework of mutual collaboration.

It's "aspects of". "According to" was the wrong word. The subject "we" was too far away by the time you got to "would hope". "In the framework of mutual collaboration" seems vague. Say what you actually want.

baseriWe sent a an email from our supervisor professor R. but we didn't receive any email in reply. We thought perhaps you didn't receive our email. Therefore we are sending this email again.

We sent you an email from our supervisor, professor R., but we didn't receive any email in reply. We thought perhaps you didn't receive our email. Therefore,we are sending this email again.

baseriSubsequent to your positive response we will propound our concerns and questions in the our investigations.We look forward to your positive feedback.

Subsequent to your positive response, we will propound the concerns and questions that have arisen in our investigations.
We look forward to your positive feedback.

Rethink "positive". I would delete the word. He might resent being told what kind of feedback to provide.

Is my English sentence correct and formal?

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions