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Fairyfan Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Is it grammatical and readable?
I just wrote this paragraph, and want to know is it grammatical and readable for native English speakers? Or is there any better way to rewrite this paragraph? I am hoping to know, thanks.
So as ambitious as they could be, they did whatever they could to deteriorate the health of my family day by day, when my family couldn't move and act, couldn't simply fight back and defend themselves, and had lost their freedom. As cold-blooded as they could be, they took advantage of my family and kept trampling upon them when they were sick, weak, and vulnerable. But they had never felt bad or sorry for my family a bit. As reckless and as heartless as they could be, they had been doing these things to their victims like my family, who had surrendered all their wills, strengths, thoughts, conscious and rights to whom they neither saw nor even knew, these invisible, deceitful and manipulative masters.
So as ambitious as they could be, they did whatever they could to deteriorate the health of my family day by day, when my family couldn't move and act, couldn't simply fight back and defend themselves, and had lost their freedom. As cold-blooded as they could be, they took advantage of my family and kept trampling upon them when they were sick, weak, and vulnerable. But they had never felt bad or sorry for my family a bit. As reckless and as heartless as they could be, they had been doing these things to their victims like my family, who had surrendered all their wills, strengths, thoughts, conscious and rights to whom they neither saw nor even knew, these invisible, deceitful and manipulative masters.
Top answer
You have posted this paragraph three times now, fairyfan. Habitual double-posters will find all their posts deleted.
- You have posted this paragraph three times now, fairyfan.
- Habitual double-posters will find all their posts deleted.
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6 Answers
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You have posted this paragraph three times now, fairyfan. Habitual double-posters will find all their posts deleted.
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I assumed if I post my request a couple of times, there would be more chances that my request will get answered soon. It is very important testimony I am writing, and I am desperately waiting for help. Because I am not good at writing.
Sorry to cause disturbance to everyone, it must be annoying to see my post three times.
Sorry to cause disturbance to everyone, it must be annoying to see my post three times.
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fairyfanI assumed if I post my request a couple of times, there would be more chances that my request will get answered soon.No, not at all. It depends only on who else in on line and willing to answer your question. There is no place for desperation here; we are all volunteers and visit the Forums at our own convenience.
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So as ambitious as they could be, they did whatever they could to undermine the health of my family day by day, when my family couldn't move or act, couldn't fight back and defend themselves, and had lost their freedom. Coldbloodly, they took advantage of my family and trampled upon them when they were sick, weak, and vulnerable.They never felt a bit sorry for us. Reckless and heartless, they h
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