Is it clear that the "she" is referring to Odila?

Question

Mina eventually made Odila a cleric; however, just days after entering the god’s service, she realized her mistake.

CalifJim · Accepted Answer

No. I would have said that "she" referred to Mina. Mina made the mistake of making Odila a cleric. That's what the sentence says to me. I also assumed that Mina entered the ***'s service, but that doesn't seem right either, so all in all, this needs to be changed somehow to make it clearer what you mean.

CJ

Clive · Answer

I take it to mean 'Odila', although it would help to know whether Odila is a woman.

It could certainly be written more clearly.

Cboutin3 · Answer

Thanks for the help. Is this sentence better and clearer: Odila was eventually made a cleric by Mina; however, just days after entering the ***’s service, she realized her mistake.

Mister Micawber · Answer

cboutin3 Is this sentence better and clearer:

Not really. Passive voice is seldom an aid to clarity.

Odila was eventually made a cleric by Mina; however, just days after entering the ***’s service, Odila?/Mina? realized her mistake.

CalifJim · Answer

cboutin3Odila was eventually made a cleric by Mina; however, just days after entering the ***’s service, she realized her mistake.

The problem is that it takes an agent to make a mistake, and Odila is not characterized as an agent in either the active or the passive form of the sentence. Odila is simply acted upon by the agent Mina in either case.

If Odila had herself made a cleric or agreed to be made a cleric, then she was an agent and could have made a mistake in doing what she did. I think you can see the difference there if you think about it a bit.

CJ

Is it clear that the "she" is referring to Odila?

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