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Piplot Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Is correct this sentence? I'm using new words. Thanks in advance, again

Mi teacher told me that the explosions is bad written, I think I can say the explosions, maybe is other the problem. By the way, is correct this?

When fires still were extinguising, between the explosions and remote effects of radioactivity lots of lives of defenseless were sacrificed for a huge sacrifice to technological power.
  

Top answer

When fires still were extinguis h ing, between the explosions and remote effects of radioactivity lots of lives of defenseless were sacrificed for a huge sacrifice to technological power. I'll rewrite your sentence, trying to use your words as much as possible. While people still were extinguishing fires, with the explosions and radioactivity lots of lives of defenseless people were sacrificed to technological power.

— Clive

  • When fires still were extinguis h ing, between the explosions and remote effects of radioactivity lots of lives of defenseless were sacrificed for a huge sacrifice to technological power.
  • I'll rewrite your sentence, trying to use your words as much as possible.
  • While people still were extinguishing fires, with the explosions and radioactivity lots of lives of defenseless people were sacrificed to technological power.
  • Please ask if you don't understand my corrections.
  • Clive
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2 Answers
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When fires still were extinguishing, between the explosions and remote effects of radioactivity lots of lives of defenseless were sacrificed for a huge sacrifice to technological power.

I'll rewrite your sentence, trying to use your words as much as possible.

While people still
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It's very understandable. Thanks a lot. Is a bit confusing for me because I'm using new words, but I understood what you was trying to tell me.
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