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Would somebody please help me with my English?

Besides pharmaceutical advertisements in medical journals, the quality of information provided by the sales representatives to physicians, another technique of pharmaceutical promotion are becoming concern to researchers. While the low quality information such as regular omissions of medically necessary information and inaccurate claim to promote positive value of product without supported by research evidence is becoming known to many researchers, no published study is available to evaluate the content of detailers’ presentation to doctors in X. No recent data in Y is available since the only study to investigate the quality of information provided by detailers to physicians published in 1998.

(X and Y are countries)

Regards,
Dean

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi Dean,

I started to correct this, but I found I was having trouble following the meaning of your first two sentences. They have a lot of problems, due to the fact that they are so long. I suggest that you should rewrite this, breaking these up into shorter sentences. That will make your meaning much more clear.

If you do that and then repost it here, we can give you more comments. OK?

Best wishes, Clive

Anonymous · Answer

Hi Clive,

Thanks for willing to help me. How about this?

The quality of information provided by sales representatives to physicians: another technique in pharmaceutical promotion is also has been investigated in a few studies. Similar to advertisements in medical journals, researchers have noted the low quality of information provided by detailers to doctors. Studies in a few countries have revealed that detailers regularly omitted medically necessary information and made inaccurate claim to promote positive value of a product without supported by research evidence. No published study is available to evaluate the content of detailers’ presentation to doctors in X. No recent data in Y is available since the only study in 1998 which conducted to answer this question.

Regards,

Dean

Kalicon · Answer

seems no bad

Clive · Answer

Hi Dean,

The quality of information provided by sales representatives to physicians: another technique in pharmaceutical promotion is also has been investigated in a few studies. Similar to advertisements in medical journals, researchers have noted the low quality of information provided by detailers to doctors. Studies in a few countries have revealed that detailers regularly omitted medically necessary information and made inaccurate claim to promote positive value of a product without supported by research evidence. No published study is available to evaluate the content of detailers’ presentation to doctors in X. No recent data in Y is available since the only study in 1998 which conducted to answer this question.

The quality of information provided by sales representatives to physicians, which is another technique in pharmaceutical promotion, has also been investigated in a few studies. Similar to advertisements in medical journals, researchers have noted the low quality of information provided by detailers to doctors. Studies in a few countries have revealed that detailers regularly omitted medically necessary information and made inaccurate claims to promote the positive value of a product without supporing this with research evidence. No published study is available to evaluate the content of detailers’ presentations to doctors in X. No recent data in Y is available since the only study which was conducted to answer this question was in 1988.

This is better. I've tried to keep your words as much as possible, but I've suggested some changes above.

With regard to the colon, you didn't use it correctly because your part before the colon has no main verb.

Best wishes, Clive

Anonymous · Answer

Hi Clive,

Thanks for your comments and suggestion.

I would like to confirm regarding the the last sentence. Which one is right?

" No recent data in Y is available since the only study which was conducted to answer this question was in 1988" or "No recent data in Y is available since the only study which was conducted to answer this question in 1988"

Regards, Dean

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I would like to confirm regarding the the last sentence. Which one is right?

" No recent data in X is available since the only study which was conducted to answer this question was in 1988"

"No recent data in Y is available since the only study which was conducted to answer this question in 1988"

I'd say #1 reflects your meaning best. Really, you should also say No recent data on X . Other possible prepositions include about/from.

I prefer to omit 'which was':

" No recent data on X is available since the only study conducted to answer this question was in 1988"

Best wishes, Clive

Fizzi · Answer

Thanks Clive,

Regards,

Dean

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