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Anonymous Posted 18 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Internet- could you please check this essay out. Thank you!

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00The widespread use of the internet has brought us advantages, and disadvantages. Easy access to the world and information is very useful, though, this reaches unwelcome information. People tend to get together with same interest and opinion, feels comfortable to tale talk with someone who agree with you, which make you confident you are right and sometimes the opinion goes too far from the world average. Internet can be used to express yourself like though blog. In some blog, they just complain their wife/husband in the diary but never said their feeling to whom they should talk that other than anyone else. If you are expressing themselves in blog just to stress out and write to face the problem or write to helps calm down and think it by themselves, or asking other people opinion to solve the problem, these are fine and positive. Though, if they are just running away from the reality and just complaining, the problem never to be solved. One day during the internet surfing, the blog I found is that one house wife is sick and feel disease and can’t do any house works, complaining her husband asked why she do not do anything. The sentence is so long, I guess she spend more than a hour for that and updating so often, I think she can do some souse works while typing the complaints. In the comments section, I was surprised to see that all the comments are saying feel sorry for her and how bad the husband is. I did not write any comment for it, I just start seeing blogs and never comment to any blogs yet, that is why. 02br
00I believe main problem associated with the usage of the tendency to get together of the people of same opinion and make a very limited inner society but believes this is the whole world opinion. To avoid this situation, balance is bevy important, take balance of the real friend and blog friend, also their opinion. Don not only listen to comfortable messages to you, but severe messages, this is important.00 0-
  

Top answer

0You need to break up your first paragraph. One point at a time. 0-

  • 0You need to break up your first paragraph.
  • One point at a time.
  • 0-
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4 Answers
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0You need to break up your first paragraph. One point at a time. 0-
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0Hi Julielai,02br
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00I appreciate your comment.02br
00I break yp my first paragraph as you mentioned.02br
00There should be too much mistakes that difficult to point out, sorry about it.02br
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00The widespread use of the internet has brought us advantages, and disadvantages. Easy access to the world and information is very u
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0Highlighted a few things for you to fix. 01blockquote
01cite10Anonymous12cite12br
10The widespread use of the internet has 11del10brought us12del10 advantages11del10, 12del10and disadvantages. Easy access to 11del10the world and information12del10 is very useful,
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Hi Julielai,

I appreciate you corrected my essay!
Mine was too complecated.

Thank you very much!

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