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Trâm Dương Thị Bích Posted 8 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

International tourism is the world’s biggest industry. It often creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?

THIS IS MY ESSAY ( WRITING TASK 2) WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO BE GIVEN SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO IMPROVE.
I really appreciate your enthusiastic help and your detail advice on my use of language, my style as well as my approach to the task.


To date, international tourism is maintaining the most important industry of the world. While there are those who consider this would be a chance for better knowledge between countries, it is arguable that more conflicts and false impression are created as a result of this reality due to the variety of cultures. The following essay is going to discuss both views.

To begin with, there are many factors that lead international travellers to involve in undesirable tensions and great troubles. To illustrate, the language barrier would appear to be one of the greatest obstacles, resulting in misunderstanding and frustration for both foreign tourists and the locals. In addition, due to the possible difference between the nations and their own customs, when arrived at a new destination, visitors tend to behave in a manner that is unfamiliar, or possibly offensive to the locals. For instance, for some reasons, the problem of quite poor public service in developing countries would make European visitors end up with dissatisfaction and annoyance while there are residents who may resent at the fact that some foreign visitors do not respect their own culture by laughing at their worship or intentionally destroying the public property.

Turning to an alternative viewpoint, despite some negative sides, it must be conceded that international tourism comes as a golden chance to globalize with others, especially poorer ones. To illustrate, the residents in these countries would be more able to socialize with foreigners, making new friends and gaining valuable assets of foreign cultures. For example, these visitors can give various feedbacks for the local service and suggest some new effective solutions to the problems while the locals can learn some new languages or more flexible and proper behavior of Europeans, keep up with the latest trend in the world.

On balance, even though some conflicts may be sparked as a result of difference in customs and language deterrents, I believe international tourism would equally create a greater understanding between countries which is a big opportunity for globalization.

  

Top answer

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body. Subject: Please review my IELTS essay Message Body: Topic: International tourism is the world’s biggest industry.

  • Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
  • Put it with your answer in the message body.
  • Subject: Please review my IELTS essay Message Body: Topic: International tourism is the world’s biggest industry.
  • It often creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures.
  • Do you agree or disagree?
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2 Answers
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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Message Body:
Topic: International tourism is the world’s biggest industry. It often creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?
My essay
...


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Your are trying very hard to write good English, but it is not working very well. I have comments on the first three sentences.


To date, international tourism is maintaining the most important industry of the world.

(What is the most important industry in the world? You write that international tourism is supporting this important industry. Is it the airplane manuf

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