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Usenet Posted 22 years ago
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Insult generator
The Colorado Insult Server isn't working anymore, so I took it upon myself to resurrect the code. While doing this, I wanted to request this venerable group's help in augmenting the database.
The program has sets of properties, amounts, and objects. An insult is generated by randomly drawing elements from these sets to form a phrase of the following form:
You are nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object}
So, it outputs pleasantries such asYou are nothing but a goatish assload of tottering waffle-house grits. You are nothing but a crook-pated accumulation of ruttish buzzard gizzards. You are nothing but an inept ooze of rude-snouted pus. You are nothing but a crook-pated coagulation of pignutted pond scum. You are nothing but a lewd-minded ooze of dankish Sun IPC manuals. You are nothing but a measled bucket of lewd-minded yoo-hoo. You are nothing but a clouted quart of dizzy-eyed guano.
You are nothing but a thick gob of crook-pated cat bladders. You are nothing but an imp-bladdereddle-headed heap of wretched pus. You are nothing but a fly-bitten ooze of craven slurpee-backwash. You are nothing but a fly-bitten heap of lumpish snake assholes. You are nothing but a dankish thimbleful of left-over cat hair. You are nothing but a fen-sucked assload of beslubbering slurpee-backwash. You are nothing but a mammering mass of rude-snouted craptacular carpet droppings.
You are nothing but a sheep-biting half-mouthful of flap-mouthed pods. You are nothing but a spongy plate of rump-fed urine samples. You are nothing but a despicable tongueful of clapper-clawed knob cheese.
I would like to request additions to the sets of properties, amounts, and objects. I am especially hoping Rey would chime in, but everyone is welcome to contribute.
The current sets are as below. Please post or mail your additions. I'll summarize and make the program available. Thank you.
Properties:
acidic, antique, contemptible, culturally-unsound, despicable, evil, fermented, festering, foul, fulminating, humid, impure, inept, inferior, industrial, left-over, low-quality, malodorous, off-color, penguin-molesting, petrified, pointy-nosed, salty, sausage-snorfling, tasteless, tempestuous, tepid, tofu-nibbling, unintelligent, unoriginal, uninspiring, weasel-smelling, wretched, spam-sucking, egg-sucking, decayed, halfbaked, infected, squishy, porous, pickled, coughed-up, thick, vapid, hacked-up, unmuzzled, bawdy, vain, lumpish, churlish, fobbing, rank, craven, puking, jarring, fly-bitten, pox-marked, fen-sucked, spongy, droning, gleeking, warped, currish, milk-livered, surly, mammering, ill-borne, beef-witted, tickle-brained, half-faced, headless, wayward, rump-fed, onion-eyed, beslubbering, villainous, lewd-minded, cockered, full-gorged, rude-snouted, crook-pated, pribbling, dread-bolted, fool-born, puny, fawning, sheep-biting, dankish, goatish, weather-bitten, knotty-pated, malt-wormy, saucyspleened, motley-mind, it-fowling, vassal-willed, loggerheaded, clapper-clawed, frothy, ruttish, clouted, common-kissing, pignutted, folly-fallen, plume-plucked, flap-mouthed, swag-bellied, dizzy-eyed, gorbellied, weedy, reeky, measled, spur-galled, mangled, impertinent, bootless, toad-spotted, hasty-witted, horn-beat, yeasty, imp-bladdereddle-headed, boil-brained, tottering, hedge-born, hugger-muggered, elf-skinned.
Amounts:
accumulation, bucket, coagulation, enema-bucketful, gob, half-mouthful, heap, mass, mound, petrification, pile, puddle, stack, thimbleful, tongueful, ooze, quart, bag, plate, ass-full, assload.
Objects:
bat toenails, bug spit, cat hair, chicken ***, dog vomit, dung, fat-woman's stomach-bile, fish heads, guano, gunk, pond scum, rat retch, red dye number-9, Sun IPC manuals, waffle-house grits, yoo-hoo, dog balls, seagull puke, cat bladders, pus, urine samples, squirrel guts, snake assholes, snake bait, buzzard gizzards, cat-hair-balls, rat-farts, pods, armadillo snouts, entrails, snake snot, eel ooze, slurpee-backwash, toxic waste, Stimpy-drool, poopy, poop, craptacular carpet droppings, jizzum, cold sores, anal warts, knob cheese.
Stanislav Shalunov http://www.internet2.edu/~shalunov/
This message is designed to be viewed in boustrophedon.
The program has sets of properties, amounts, and objects. An insult is generated by randomly drawing elements from these sets to form a phrase of the following form:
You are nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object}
So, it outputs pleasantries such asYou are nothing but a goatish assload of tottering waffle-house grits. You are nothing but a crook-pated accumulation of ruttish buzzard gizzards. You are nothing but an inept ooze of rude-snouted pus. You are nothing but a crook-pated coagulation of pignutted pond scum. You are nothing but a lewd-minded ooze of dankish Sun IPC manuals. You are nothing but a measled bucket of lewd-minded yoo-hoo. You are nothing but a clouted quart of dizzy-eyed guano.
You are nothing but a thick gob of crook-pated cat bladders. You are nothing but an imp-bladdereddle-headed heap of wretched pus. You are nothing but a fly-bitten ooze of craven slurpee-backwash. You are nothing but a fly-bitten heap of lumpish snake assholes. You are nothing but a dankish thimbleful of left-over cat hair. You are nothing but a fen-sucked assload of beslubbering slurpee-backwash. You are nothing but a mammering mass of rude-snouted craptacular carpet droppings.
You are nothing but a sheep-biting half-mouthful of flap-mouthed pods. You are nothing but a spongy plate of rump-fed urine samples. You are nothing but a despicable tongueful of clapper-clawed knob cheese.
I would like to request additions to the sets of properties, amounts, and objects. I am especially hoping Rey would chime in, but everyone is welcome to contribute.
The current sets are as below. Please post or mail your additions. I'll summarize and make the program available. Thank you.
Properties:
acidic, antique, contemptible, culturally-unsound, despicable, evil, fermented, festering, foul, fulminating, humid, impure, inept, inferior, industrial, left-over, low-quality, malodorous, off-color, penguin-molesting, petrified, pointy-nosed, salty, sausage-snorfling, tasteless, tempestuous, tepid, tofu-nibbling, unintelligent, unoriginal, uninspiring, weasel-smelling, wretched, spam-sucking, egg-sucking, decayed, halfbaked, infected, squishy, porous, pickled, coughed-up, thick, vapid, hacked-up, unmuzzled, bawdy, vain, lumpish, churlish, fobbing, rank, craven, puking, jarring, fly-bitten, pox-marked, fen-sucked, spongy, droning, gleeking, warped, currish, milk-livered, surly, mammering, ill-borne, beef-witted, tickle-brained, half-faced, headless, wayward, rump-fed, onion-eyed, beslubbering, villainous, lewd-minded, cockered, full-gorged, rude-snouted, crook-pated, pribbling, dread-bolted, fool-born, puny, fawning, sheep-biting, dankish, goatish, weather-bitten, knotty-pated, malt-wormy, saucyspleened, motley-mind, it-fowling, vassal-willed, loggerheaded, clapper-clawed, frothy, ruttish, clouted, common-kissing, pignutted, folly-fallen, plume-plucked, flap-mouthed, swag-bellied, dizzy-eyed, gorbellied, weedy, reeky, measled, spur-galled, mangled, impertinent, bootless, toad-spotted, hasty-witted, horn-beat, yeasty, imp-bladdereddle-headed, boil-brained, tottering, hedge-born, hugger-muggered, elf-skinned.
Amounts:
accumulation, bucket, coagulation, enema-bucketful, gob, half-mouthful, heap, mass, mound, petrification, pile, puddle, stack, thimbleful, tongueful, ooze, quart, bag, plate, ass-full, assload.
Objects:
bat toenails, bug spit, cat hair, chicken ***, dog vomit, dung, fat-woman's stomach-bile, fish heads, guano, gunk, pond scum, rat retch, red dye number-9, Sun IPC manuals, waffle-house grits, yoo-hoo, dog balls, seagull puke, cat bladders, pus, urine samples, squirrel guts, snake assholes, snake bait, buzzard gizzards, cat-hair-balls, rat-farts, pods, armadillo snouts, entrails, snake snot, eel ooze, slurpee-backwash, toxic waste, Stimpy-drool, poopy, poop, craptacular carpet droppings, jizzum, cold sores, anal warts, knob cheese.
Stanislav Shalunov http://www.internet2.edu/~shalunov/
This message is designed to be viewed in boustrophedon.
Top answer
[nq:1]( . . ) You are nothing but a goatish assload of tottering waffle-house grits.
- [nq:1]( .
- .
- ) You are nothing but a goatish assload of tottering waffle-house grits.
- You are nothing but ...
- nothing but a spongy plate of rump-fed urine samples.
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7 Answers
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[nq:1]( . . . ) You are nothing but a goatish assload of tottering waffle-house grits. You are nothing but ... nothing but a spongy plate of rump-fed urine samples. You are nothing but a despicable tongueful of clapper-clawed **** cheese.[/nq]
Yes, you're right, I am.
Yes, you're right, I am.
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[nq:1]The Colorado Insult Server isn't working anymore, so I took itupon myself to resurrect the code. While doing this, I ... of the following form: You are nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object} So, it outputs pleasantries such as[/nq]
With all those insults, you'd think I could find one that could be used on certain parties. No luck. I'll have to continue making up my o
With all those insults, you'd think I could find one that could be used on certain parties. No luck. I'll have to continue making up my o
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The type of person who would use this form of insult is nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object}.
Richard Chambers Leeds UK
Richard Chambers Leeds UK
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The type of person who would use this form of insult is nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object}.
Richard Chambers Leeds UK
Richard Chambers Leeds UK
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[nq:1]The type of person who would use this form of insult is nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object}.[/nq]
I think you are missing the point, unless you take practical utilitarianism as far as granting full rights to Turning machines.
Stanislav Shalunov ht
I think you are missing the point, unless you take practical utilitarianism as far as granting full rights to Turning machines.
Stanislav Shalunov ht
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[nq:2]The type of person who would use this form of insult is nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object}.[/nq]
[nq:1]I think you are missing the point, unless you take practical utilitarianism as far as granting full rights to Turning machines.[/nq]
I've got one of those, great for making candlesticks, vases, and the like. And I do fling the occasional insult its way when
[nq:1]I think you are missing the point, unless you take practical utilitarianism as far as granting full rights to Turning machines.[/nq]
I've got one of those, great for making candlesticks, vases, and the like. And I do fling the occasional insult its way when
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[nq:1]The Colorado Insult Server isn't working anymore, so I took it upon myself to resurrect the code. While doing this, ... these sets to form a phrase of the following form: You are nothing but a(n) {property} {amount} of {property} {object}[/nq]
(snip)
I spent hours working on something like this years ago, during my lunch breaks at work. I was a lead programmer working on a team - I w
(snip)
I spent hours working on something like this years ago, during my lunch breaks at work. I was a lead programmer working on a team - I w
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