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Mkyol Posted 18 years ago

in the cold of winter

0hi, please comment on my poem: 02br
02br
00In the cold of winter, snow and ice02br
00You gave me a match lit with fire02br
00And only then I realized 02br
00That I was cold02br
00I shiver now, feel cold and warmth 02br
00But you have to come back 02br
00And give me warmth once more 02br
00Lest I will freeze to death02br
00In the cold of winter0-
  

Top answer

02br 00It does not seem like a poem-- it has no rhythm, no rhyme, no imagery, no metaphor. Without the artificial line breaks, it would be a simple paragraph:02br 02br 01i 00In the cold of winter, snow and ice, you gave me a match lit with fire, and only then I realized that I was cold. 02br 02br 00It is also inconsistent in concept.

— Mister Micawber

  • 02br 00It does not seem like a poem-- it has no rhythm, no rhyme, no imagery, no metaphor.
  • Without the artificial line breaks, it would be a simple paragraph:02br 02br 01i 00In the cold of winter, snow and ice, you gave me a match lit with fire, and only then I realized that I was cold.
  • 02br 02br 00It is also inconsistent in concept.
  • ).
  • Now s/he feels warmth, so the loved one should come back and give warmth (which seems quite unnecessary now.
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2 Answers
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0 .02br
00It does not seem like a poem-- it has no rhythm, no rhyme, no imagery, no metaphor. Without the artificial line breaks, it would be a simple paragraph:02br
02br
01i00In the cold of winter, snow and ice, you gave me a match lit with fire, and only then I realized that I was cold. I shiver now, feel cold and warmth, but you have to come back and g
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0
0Although you are wrong on some aspects (such as intended interpretation of the poem), you are right on some aspects, and I thank you for providing feedback.0-
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