In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this a positive or negative situation ?

Question

It is argued that housing and transportation is two of most concerns in the human’s life. Some people believed that as a human, everyone must own their home, rather than renting it. This trend may lead to both benefits and drawbacks, but I strongly believe people should value their own house.

On the one hand, house is considered as vital accommodation of people’s life, where people will live for the rest of their lives, a place to protect people from storms, cold winds, and all other dangers. So it can be seen that most of young people now concentrated on earn money to buy their own dwelling in order to take a freedom space. Additionally, purchase a house of your own will not have to live with anyone, share furniture with anyone, or be influenced by people around, and you don't have to worry about unexpected incidents like in apartments, especially in severely degraded apartments. Take one of the most luxury condominium in Ho Chi Minh City as an example, this incident happened in 2019, a sudden fire that occurred in the night claimed the lives of more than 100 people, but the main cause was a petrol leak from a resident's motorbike in the basement. Consequently, after this incident, 60% of the people living in the apartment said that they don't dare to live in it anymore.On the other hand, living in an apartment has several benefits. To begin with, the cost to built a shelter is the significant concern for workers, especially the poor; while you can find apartments for rent at a much cheaper cost and suitable for your salary. Moreover, you also don't have to worry about building a house, designing a house, and then home appliances, but you can choose a style you like among the available rental houses, saving both time and avoid headaches. For example, a monthly salary of 2 million, if you don't want to build a house, then find a house to rent for 2 million and you still have a large amount of money left over for future work, because if you don't have an amount of money before, it will be a long time before you have enough money to build your own house.In conclusion, it is better to owning a home in a long term than renting one in a certain period, it depends on your financial resources and your ability.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Here is a one-page introductory guide to Task 2 essays.

Your paragraphing needs to be more clear.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

It is argued that housing and transportation is two of most concerns in the human’s life.

There are many issues with this sentence.

1. It is off-topic. There is nothing about "transportation" in the task. There is no argument.
2. It is ungrammatical. The subject is not matched to the verb form. And "two of the most concerns" is poor and unnatural English.

3. The word "human" is not used appropriately. We only use this word in phrases such as "human resources", "human beings" and "human rights." We also use it when comparing our species, **** sapiens, to other species. It is not a general substitute for "people".

Here is a good opening sentence. Introduce the general topic.

In some societies, people highly value home ownership, but in others, renting one's accommodation from a property owner is perfectly normal and acceptable.

Some people believed (Do not use past tense. It is about the present situation) that ~~as a human,~~ (Very bad. Delete.) everyone must own their home, rather than renting it.

This trend (wrong word. The topic is not about something that is gaining or losing popularity._) may lead to both benefits and drawbacks, but I strongly believe people should value their own house.

This is NOT an advantages/disadvantages essay type. You did not answer the essay prompt:

Do you think this a positive or negative situation?

You need to answer either "It is positive" or "It is negative." The task is to give your opinion if it is bad for people to want home ownership, or is this a good thing for a society. It is NOT about the advantages / disadvantages of owning the property you live in.

The two body paragraphs then explain your reasons for your opinion.

I assume you have memorized your response. There are five essay types, and you have to recognize each one and write the corresponding answer.

Since your essay did not address the task that was given, I suggest that you write it again and post your new essay.

Then we can check the grammar, word usage, coherence and cohesion.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The next problem with your essay is the length. It is 400+ words, which is too long.

The minimum word count is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.
You can use this word counter: https://www.ieltsscore.com/word-counter/

Ielts beginer · Answer

I rewrote this post today, please check it out and give me a feedbacks, thanks.

In some countries, people highly own home ownership, but in others, renting one's accommodation from a property owner is perfectly normal and it even more praise than buying a house. In my point of view, whether it is a positive or negative situation depends on many factors.
On the one hand, it can be seen that most young people now concentrated on earning money to buy their dwelling to take a freedom space. Additionally, purchasing a house of your own will not have to live with anyone, or be influenced by people around, and you don't have to worry about unexpected incidents like in apartments, especially in severely degraded apartments. Take one of the most luxurious condominiums in Ho Chi Minh City as an example, this incident happened in 2019, a sudden fire that occurred in the night claimed the lives of more than 100 people, but the main cause was a petrol leak from a resident's motorbike in the basement. Consequently, after this incident, 60% of the people living in the apartment said that they don't dare to live in it anymore.
On the other hand, living in an apartment has several benefits. To begin with, the cost to build a shelter is a significant concern for workers, especially the poor; while you can find apartments for rent at a much cheaper cost and suitable for your salary. For example, a monthly salary of 10 million, if you don't want to build a house, then find a house to rent for 2 million and you still have a large amount of money left over for future work, because if you don't have an amount of money before, it will be a long time before you have enough money to build your own house.
In conclusion, it is better to own a home can be a great thing if it's within your ability. However, it could turn into a negative situation when it's beyond your capability.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this a positive or negative situation ?

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