In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Question

These days, in some parts of the world, parents always want their children to be able to get the best educational system from some of reputable schools. In order to do this, they encourage their children to begin studying earlier to gradually get used to the new learning environment and try to orient their children to special courses or academic classes before entering the school. However, others think that children should spend time for social activities before starting a formal educational process. In my opinion, for children of any age, whether they receive an education sooner or later, the education will also direct them to better things. This essay will be discussed about both views in more detail.

For children between the ages of 4 and 5, some parents encourage their children to study earlier at playgrounds, where not only play the games but also aim to learn social skills. For example, children can take part in speaking and listening classes. Therefore, they will be studied to become confident in front of the crowd by sharing stories to other person. This is the first step to help them to easily become familiar with the new educational habitat.

Nevertheless, parents in some US-UK countries allow their child to have a free time before starting a formal curriculum. In this time, they can do anything that they really like. On the one hand, children can play freely without having to think about learning formulas. On the other hand, they are free to be creative and realize what they really want to learn during this period. And they just start a formal educational system until they are seven years old, which is the age that is recognized something. It seems to me that both views are good strategies for children to achieve good academic results. No matter what age range children start learning, the final destination is still universities.

To sum up, learning through play and developing social skills will equip children for a mature life in essential ways. Moreover, if the child has the ability to learn from a young age, also contributes to the further development of the child.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic: In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you ag

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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AlpheccaStars · Answer

Most of your essay is off-topic. You did not focus on the task that was given.

The topic is the age when the public school system, funded by the government, requires children to begin going to school.

Some countries have nursery school and kindergarten, where four-year-old children start their education in the public school system. The kids go to nursery school at age 4-5, kindergarten at age 6, and then start first grade in primary school at age 7.

Other countries do not have public schools until first grade, and require children to begin school when they are seven years old.

Which system do you think is better and why?

You wrote over 350 words.

The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task completion or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples.

Fourth, you will take a lot of time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time to spend on Task 1, and get a lower score there.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.

These days, in some parts of the world, parents always want their children to be able to get the best educational system from some of reputable schools. (That does not make sense. The school selection and quality of education is not the topic of this task.) In order to do this, they encourage their children to begin studying earlier to gradually get used to the new learning environment and try to orient their children to special courses or academic classes (Off topic.) before entering the school. However, others think that children should spend time for social activities before starting a formal educational process. In my opinion, for children of any age, whether they receive an education sooner or later, the education will also direct them to better things. ~~This essay will be discussed~~ (wrong verb form) ~~about both views in more detail.~~

Do not mention your essay. The instructions are to discuss both views. Do not repeat the instructions. Instead, write a thesis statement. The thesis statement answers the essay prompt: How far do you agree with either of these views?

Which view do you sympathize the most with? How much do you agree with it?

For children between the ages of 4 and 5, some parents encourage their children to study earlier at playgrounds, (off topic.) where not only play ~~the~~ games but also aim to learn social skills. For example, children can take part in speaking and listening classes. Therefore, they will be studied (wrong verb form. The passive voice is incorrect. ) to become confident in front of the crowd by sharing stories with others. ~~to other person~~. This is the first step to help them to easily become familiar with the new educational habitat. (wrong word. Habitat is for animals, not people.)

Nevertheless, parents in some US-UK countries allow their child to have a free time before starting a formal curriculum. In this time, they can do anything that they really like. On the one hand, children can play freely without having to think about learning formulas. On the other hand, they are free to be creative and realize what they really want to learn during this period. And they just start a formal educational system until they are seven years old, which is the age that is recognized something. (That does not make sense) It seems to me that both views are good strategies for children to achieve good academic results. No matter what age range children start learning, the final destination is still universities.

To sum up, learning through play and developing social skills will equip children for a mature life in essential ways. Moreover, if the child has the ability to learn from a young age, also contributes to the further development of the child. ( This is all off topic.)

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

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