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Build green 958 Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating too much fast food.It is therefore necessary for government to impose a high tax on this kind of food.

Nowaday, there are a dozen of people who are eating fast food in uncontrolled way are coping with health problem.The government should have a solution to stop this problem and I think they should impose higher tex on fast food’s product.

This essay will concentrate on discussing on both these view and I will give my own view. Firstly, imposing higher tax can help people become healthier after stop using junk food and we can use the amount of money that we used to help people have problem relate to junk food to donate for homeless people,…However, this measure will be able to lead to the fact that increasing higher tax can make the economy go down and many imployeer will not have job to do.Furthermore, this can also make the quality of product decrease.

However, I think if we can reduce it, people may switch to other kind of food like fresh food, so that the economy may be will lose but not much. Moreover, more and more people can relized the beneficial of eating good food and they can make people who are still eating fast food can change their bad habit. But I think there will have someone who even do not have time for themselves to cook their own food and need to rely on fast food . Generally speaking, I think people will need more time to fix this problem.

In conclusion, I firmly belive that imposing higher tax is the best way to reduce this for now.



This is my first essay so please don't blame me if i have mistakes

Thank you!

  

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3 Answers
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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating too much fast foo

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build green 958This is my first essay so please don't blame me if i have mistakes

I do not understand. Did someone else write this essay and you posted it for them?

Or are you not taking responsibility for your own mistakes?

Normally, a new writer woul

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Indeed there are many mistakes in your essay.

You have a lot of difficulty writing complex sentences. You have not mastered clause structures. You need to study independent and dependent clauses.

You also have problems with singular and plural nouns. Make sure you know when to use the plural form.

Also, you need to study more vocabulary words. You have a good basic vocab

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