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Contiluo Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
In a twinkling
Are the following sentences acceptable and coherent?
(1) However, she was not aware that a bad guy in a mask was tracking her stealthily.
(2) The bad guy rapidly rushed to Amy from her back.
(3) In a twinkling, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(4) Amy screamed out "Help!" and fought back to the robber trying to take back her purse from the robber.
(1) However, she was not aware that a bad guy in a mask was tracking her stealthily.
(2) The bad guy rapidly rushed to Amy from her back.
(3) In a twinkling, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(4) Amy screamed out "Help!" and fought back to the robber trying to take back her purse from the robber.
Top answer
(1) However, she was not aware that a bad guy in a mask was tracking her stealthily. (2) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind . (3) In a twinkling, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
- (1) However, she was not aware that a bad guy in a mask was tracking her stealthily.
- (2) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind .
- (3) In a twinkling, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
- " and fought back against the robber , trying to get back her purse.
- I hope you realize that 3 and 4 are incompatible actions.
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6 Answers
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(1) However, she was not aware that a bad guy in a mask was tracking her stealthily.
(2) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(3) In a twinkling, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(4) Amy screamed out "Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
I hope you realize that 3 and 4 are
(2) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(3) In a twinkling, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(4) Amy screamed out "Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
I hope you realize that 3 and 4 are
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I revised the paragraph as written. Are they compatible actions?
(1) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(2) As sudden as lightning, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The abrupt contingency made Amy unable to deal with.
(4) She screamed out "Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
(5) With al
(1) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(2) As sudden as lightning, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The abrupt contingency made Amy unable to deal with.
(4) She screamed out "Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
(5) With al
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Now you've created new problems. I have underlined them:
(1) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(2) As sudden as lightning, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The abrupt contingency made Amy unable to deal with. (You'd better just begin again with this one; make a new and different sentence.)
(4) She
(1) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(2) As sudden as lightning, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The abrupt contingency made Amy unable to deal with. (You'd better just begin again with this one; make a new and different sentence.)
(4) She
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I tried to rewrite the paragraph as following.
(1) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(2) All of a sudden, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The lightning attack made Amy panic-stricken.
(4) She screamed out "Help! Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
(5) With all her might, Amy scuffled
(1) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(2) All of a sudden, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The lightning attack made Amy panic-stricken.
(4) She screamed out "Help! Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
(5) With all her might, Amy scuffled
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(1) The bad guy rapidly rushed at Amy from behind.
(2) All of a sudden, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The lightning attack panicked Amy.
(4) She screamed out "Help! Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
(5) With all her might, Amy scuffled with the ruffian.
(2) All of a sudden, he grabbed her purse and ran away with it.
(3) The lightning attack panicked Amy.
(4) She screamed out "Help! Help!" and fought back against the robber, trying to get back her purse.
(5) With all her might, Amy scuffled with the ruffian.
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I'm not sure if what I write is correct, but I'm just pointing out my opinions.
1. "tracking" doesn't sound appropriate. Maybe "stalking" sounds better? And "sleathily" too doesn't sound appropriate.
2. "rapidly"? Wrong choice of word. You can either choose not to use the word or use the word "quickly".
3. "In a twinkling" is wrong. Maybe "out of the blue (which means s
1. "tracking" doesn't sound appropriate. Maybe "stalking" sounds better? And "sleathily" too doesn't sound appropriate.
2. "rapidly"? Wrong choice of word. You can either choose not to use the word or use the word "quickly".
3. "In a twinkling" is wrong. Maybe "out of the blue (which means s
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