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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Improving my writing skills
hello,
I am applying for Toefl but my writting skills are not good, I tried to write an essay and I would appreciate if you could correct it.
Thanks for your help.
1)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
These whole world is built on very strong marketing, industrial and commercial companies transformed the world to big market. Every day we have a new product, advertising are everywhere. You receive them as mails, as texts, on TV, on packaging.Therefore people are now hard to be satisfied, whatever they have they want more or better product.
If you buy today an electronic product , the same company will release new version of the same product with more options after 4 months, so people want to get the new one because the one that they have will appear old with less options.
but is that the fault of the diversity of products or it is human nature. Some researcher believe it is due to our gene. we are always fascinated by what is new, what we don't have. and this is the base of our civilization. if human before millions year accepted and were satisfied by what they had that time, we would had never had all these technology and variety of product.
I am applying for Toefl but my writting skills are not good, I tried to write an essay and I would appreciate if you could correct it.
Thanks for your help.
1)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
These whole world is built on very strong marketing, industrial and commercial companies transformed the world to big market. Every day we have a new product, advertising are everywhere. You receive them as mails, as texts, on TV, on packaging.Therefore people are now hard to be satisfied, whatever they have they want more or better product.
If you buy today an electronic product , the same company will release new version of the same product with more options after 4 months, so people want to get the new one because the one that they have will appear old with less options.
but is that the fault of the diversity of products or it is human nature. Some researcher believe it is due to our gene. we are always fascinated by what is new, what we don't have. and this is the base of our civilization. if human before millions year accepted and were satisfied by what they had that time, we would had never had all these technology and variety of product.
Top answer
I'm not a native speaker myself but most grammar mistakes are obvious. The logic or alternate meanings are sometimes a little more difficult to decide on. I hope you find my suggestions useful.
- I'm not a native speaker myself but most grammar mistakes are obvious.
- The logic or alternate meanings are sometimes a little more difficult to decide on.
- I hope you find my suggestions useful.
- Probably someone else will check as well.
- Anonymous These The whole world is built on very strong marketing capitalism , industrial industry and commercial companies [or "big companes"] transformed the world to a big market.
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1 Answers
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I'm not a native speaker myself but most grammar mistakes are obvious. The logic or alternate meanings are sometimes a little more difficult to decide on. I hope you find my suggestions useful. Probably someone else will check as well.
AnonymousTheseThe whole world is built onverystrong marketingcapitalism,industrial
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