0
B Tech Posted 10 years ago
Business & Finance
Improve PowerPoint presentation conclusion
Hi,
I am preparing a business presentation but I need the conclusion to be really impactful. Can somebuddy help make the following better phrased to make it impactful:
"The purpose of pointing the aforementioned issues is not to be excessively critical or malign some businesses but only intent is to present to you the true state of affairs and serious short-comings experienced as an employee when the stakes are as high representing the best companies in the world.
We feel that we can be a better partner in your demand generation pursuits given our all round knowledge and experience"
Thanks
b tech
I am preparing a business presentation but I need the conclusion to be really impactful. Can somebuddy help make the following better phrased to make it impactful:
"The purpose of pointing the aforementioned issues is not to be excessively critical or malign some businesses but only intent is to present to you the true state of affairs and serious short-comings experienced as an employee when the stakes are as high representing the best companies in the world.
We feel that we can be a better partner in your demand generation pursuits given our all round knowledge and experience"
Thanks
b tech
Top answer
By reading this I'm confused. Is this for internal communication or client presentation? Some quick editing: "The purpose of pointing out the aforementioned issues is not to be excessively critical or malign some businesses (are you referring to multiple companies or departments?
- By reading this I'm confused.
- Is this for internal communication or client presentation?
- Some quick editing: "The purpose of pointing out the aforementioned issues is not to be excessively critical or malign some businesses (are you referring to multiple companies or departments?
- if departments, change it to "any departments").
- " I didn't understand the purpose of this: We feel that we can be a better partner in your demand generation pursuits given our all round knowledge and experience" Of course, my answer can be improved as well
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
3 Answers
0
By reading this I'm confused. Is this for internal communication or client presentation?
Some quick editing:
"The purpose of pointing out the aforementioned issues is not to be excessively critical or malign some businesses (are you referring to multiple companies or departments? if departments, change it to "any departments"). The only intent is to present the true state of affairs
Some quick editing:
"The purpose of pointing out the aforementioned issues is not to be excessively critical or malign some businesses (are you referring to multiple companies or departments? if departments, change it to "any departments"). The only intent is to present the true state of affairs
00
Hi
I think I'd say it should be shorter; should use more short words; and it should say something that includes everyone who has been involved in the discussion. There isn't quite enough context there, but maybe:
- What we've discussed today is not about criticising businesses: we are attempting to understand how things stand at the moment. The employee is the most valuable ass
I think I'd say it should be shorter; should use more short words; and it should say something that includes everyone who has been involved in the discussion. There isn't quite enough context there, but maybe:
- What we've discussed today is not about criticising businesses: we are attempting to understand how things stand at the moment. The employee is the most valuable ass
00
Our motive in this presentation is to offer insights and constructive criticism.
Managers together with the employees can be partners in making the company the best in the world.
Managers together with the employees can be partners in making the company the best in the world.
0
Related Questions