I'm terrified of task 1 though my exam is coming. Please help correct my writing.

Question

The bar chart illustrates the number of males and females participating in tertiary education in the UK. It shows if they were studying full-time or part-time and is divided into three periods.

Overall, the number of students engaging in part-time education vastly outnumbered those studying full-time. Although the two modes were relatively the same in the two genders, there were some differences, especially in 1990 where the number of female students studying part-time increased substantially.

With regards to full-time study, the number of male students grew slightly and consistently from under 100000 in 1970 to over 200000 in 1991. Whereas, females rose sharply over the first decade from below 100000 in 1970 to 200000 in 1981, then leveled off over the remaining period.

In terms of part-time education, there was a fluctuation in the number of male students over the period which were from 1000000 in 1970 down to over 800000 in 1981, then rose slightly during the latter decade. On the contrary, female students increased sharply and steadily from below 800000 in 1970 to just under 1200000 in 1991.

Teechr · Accepted Answer

The bar chart illustrates the number of males and females participating in tertiary education in the UK. It shows if they were studying full-time or part-time and is divided into three periods.

In the actual exam, there are two bar charts, one for men and one for women. It makes the introduction much easier to write.

Rea

Overall, ~~the number of~~ students engaging in part-time education vastly outnumbered those studying full-time. [ 2] ~~Although the two modes were relatively the same in the two genders, there were some differences,~~ Moreover, while the number of both male and female full-time university students increased modestly over those years, there was little notable change in the number of male part-time students in tertiary institutions. The situation was different for females, especially in 1990 ~~where~~ [ 3] when the number of female students studying part-time increased substantially.

With regards to full-time study, the number of male students grew slightly and consistently from under [ 4] 100,000 in 1970 to over 200,000 in 1991, whereas [ 5] the number of females ~~rose sharply~~ doubled over the first decade from below 100,000 in 1970 to 200,000 in 1981, but then leveled off over the remaining period.

In terms of part-time education, there was a fluctuation in the number of male students over the three periods ~~which were~~ from 1,000,000 in 1970 down to ~~over~~ around 800,000 in 1981, ~~then~~ but that rose slightly during the latter decade. [ 6] ~~On the contrary,~~ In contrast, female student numbers increased sharply and steadily from below 800,000 in 1970 to just under 1,200,000 in 1991.

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[ 1]: By building a noun phrase, you can shorten your sentences.

[ 2]: You need to compare like with like.

[ 3]: We use “when” for time, not “where”.

[ 4]: Note how “whereas” is used. It can be used at the beginning of the sentence. For example:

Whereas winter was mild last year, the previous year it was severe.

[ 6]: That’s not how “On the contrary” is typically used. It is usually said to counter/refute an argument.

jennifertranI'm terrified of task 1

Don't be. Focus on the ideas and on presenting a concise, elegant and convincing response. Good luck.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

First, this graphic is terrible. It is an adulteration of the actual chart, which is much much clearer. Do not use practice tests from suspect sources. It will mislead you and confuse you even more.

https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/642/

Note: Even this chart is defective in that the label on the Y-axis is missing.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The bar chart illustrates the number of males and females participating in tertiary education in the UK. It shows if they were studying full-time or part-time and is divided into three periods.

In the actual exam, there are two bar charts, one for men and one for women. It makes the introduction much easier to write.

Read my advice for the best verbs to use for describing different types of graphics. Do not use "illustrate" here. Use "illustrate" for diagrams, flow charts and maps.

https://www.englishforums.com/English/IeltsTaskHintsTipsAdvice/bxgnkx/post.htm

The first paragraph should be fairly straightforward. You just have to arrange the phrases that cover the aspects of the figure.

The two bar charts, one for men and one for women, plot the numbers of British who were enrolled in tertiary education in three academic years: 1970-71, 1980-81 and 1990-91. It also divides them into two groups: part-time and full-time students.

Overall, the number of students ~~engaging~~ in part-time education vastly outnumbered those studying full-time. Although the two modes (That makes no sense. ) were relatively the same in the two genders, there were some differences, especially in 1990 where the number of female students studying part-time increased substantially.

Overall ideas:

1. There were many more enrollments in part time study compared to full time.
2. The numbers of full-time male students varied within a relatively narrow range, whereas there was an increase in all the other combinations.
3. There were more male than female students in the first two time periods; that reversed in 1990-91.

With regards to full-time study, the number of male students grew slightly and consistently from under 100000 in 1970 to over 200000 in 1991. Whereas, females rose sharply over the first decade from below 100000 in 1970 to 200000 in 1981, (be consistent!) and then leveled off ~~over the remaining period~~.

In terms of part-time education, there was a fluctuation (There is no "fluctuation" on this graph. Read my advice about this misused word.) in the number of male students over the period which were from 1000000 in 1970 down to over 800000 in 1981, then rose slightly during the latter decade. On the contrary, female students increased sharply and steadily Use "continuously, steadily" and similar adverbs for line graphs.) from below 800000 in 1970 to just under 1200000 in 1991.

You just wrote down the numbers from the chart. To get a great score, look for "relevant comparisons". These are ratios, comparisons in a specific time period, comparisons between categories (male/female, part time/full time) and comparisons between time periods.

The challenge of Task 1 is to have in your brain a set of appropriate vocabulary words. These are objective, mathematical terms. You can memorize these only by practicing. There is only a limited vocabulary that will apply to charts and graphs. the more you practice, the better you will get and the easier it will be.

Next is your skills in math. For Task 1 you only need primary school math skills like addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. You need to learn how to apply these skills to describing graphs and charts very quickly, given the limited time you have. Practice, practice, practice and you will gain confidence.

You can just copy numbers from the graphic and put them into words, but that is not very impressive.

Here are some "relevant comparisons"

1. The ratios of full time to part time students varied between 1:10 (men in 1970-71) and 1:4 (women in 1980-81).

2. The numbers of women students increased from 750,000 in 1970-71 to 1,300,000 in 1990-91. In contrast, there were 1,100,000 male students in each of these two years.

3. There were more men and women enrolled full time in 1990-91 than in 1970-71. In 1970-71, there were two men for every woman (100 versus 50 thousand) but their numbers were equal in 1990-91 at 200,000.

Sample:

The two bar charts, one for men and one for women, plot the numbers of British people who were enrolled in tertiary education in three academic years: 1970-71, 1980-81 and 1990-91. It also divides them into two groups by educational status: part-time and full-time students.

Overall, there were many more enrollments in part-time study compared to full-time. The numbers of full-time male students varied within a relatively narrow range over these three periods, whereas there was an increase in all the other combinations of gender and status. There were more male than female students in the first two time periods; those numbers were reversed in 1990-91.

In detail, the ratios of full-time to part-time students varied between 1:10 (men in 1970-71) and 1:4 (women in 1980-81), so there were at least four times as many part-time as full-time students. The numbers of women students increased considerably from 750,000 in 1970-71 to 1,300,000 in 1990-91. In contrast, there was no change for the men; 1,100,000 male students in each of these two years. In terms of enrollment status, there were more men and women full-time students in 1990-91 than in 1970-71. In 1970-71, there were two men for every woman (100 versus 50 thousand) but their numbers were equal in 1990-91 at 200,000.

I'm terrified of task 1 though my exam is coming. Please help correct my writing.

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