Im having a real test soon pls mark my task 1

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

my essay:

The bar chart reveals what graduates majoring in Anthropology did after completing their undergraduate course of a college, while the table depicts the amount of money they earn as being anthropologists in the workforce after five years.

Overall, it can be seen that people working full-time is the most common, but part-time and postgrad study has the smallest minority. People who work for the government have the highest wages, while the other two get bigger and bigger as the salaries get higher.

The proportion of graduates who work full time constituted the vast majority, followed by scholars who work part-time, accounting for 15%. Undergraduates who did not have a job made up only 12%, along with full-time postgrad study and unknown ones, which constituted 8% of each. A modest 5% was seen for those who worked part-time and postgrad study.

Moreover, consultants’ wages were made up from 5%($25,000-49,000) to ($100,00) after 5 years of working, so was for graduates working in the government sector, but a half of them received more than $100,000. Private corporations accounted for a mere 10% ($25,000-49,0000), however, it went up to nearly one third to achieve 100,000$ after working for 5 years.