ILETS WRITING TAKS 2

Question

Please give feedbacks and help me point out the mistakes and give me a band score too! Thank you so much!Some people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been very beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that it has had a very negative impact. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.It is extensively acknowledged that airplanes have become a convenient mode of transportation, which has led to the question of whether traveling by air giving many benefits for global connectivity. While some people believe that the advent of the aviation industry helps people traveling overseas more easily, I hold on to the belief that there is some harmful effect caused by using the aircraft.On the one hand, some people tend to think that airplane makes international travel more accessible. Firstly, air travel is the best way to minimize time. Because it is the fastest way to get from one place to another. In other words, if they save time, they can do more things, make a lot of value. Secondly, for a long trip, sitting on the plane is the most comfortable. The reason is that passengers supplied with meals by flight attendants. Furthermore, they can enjoy in-flight entertainment with films and music.On the other side of the debate though, many individuals argue that air travel has several disadvantages for some reasons. Firstly, using this type of vehicle harms natural resources. This means that the aircraft must consume an amount of fuel in a flight. This fuel is a non-renewable resource. As a result,  it is causing irreparable damage to the environment such as global warming, climate change, and greenhouse gases. Secondly, aircraft can cause noise pollution when taking off or landing. This sound is annoying for residents living near an airport and around the flight paths. The noise created by planes can cause strokes and headaches.In conclusion, while it is true that air travel enhances global transportation, I think that there are still harmful effects of aircraft used on human health and the environment for the reasons mentioned.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Phuong MaiPlease give feedbacks

Feedback is non count. The plural form is incorrect.

Phuong Maihelp me point out the mistakes

You are pointing out your mistakes and need me to assist you.

How many mistakes have you found so far?

AlpheccaStars · Answer

It is ~~extensively~~ acknowledged that airplanes have become a convenient (incorrect word for this task.) mode of transportation, which has led to the question of whether traveling by air giving (wrong verb form) many benefits for global connectivity. While some people believe that the advent of the aviation industry (That is off-topic. The aviation industry began 100 years ago. Are you going to discuss what happened 100 years ago?) helps people traveling (wrong verb form) overseas more easily, I hold on to the belief that there is some harmful effect caused by using the aircraft. (That is one airplane. Which airplane is bad? Why don't they replace it with a safer one?)

Your first paragraph is not focused on the task given in the instructions, so you will lose some points. The next paragraph is also off-topic.

On the one hand, some people tend to think that airplane (wrong form) makes international travel more accessible. Firstly, First, air travel is the best way to minimize time. Because it is the fastest way to get from one place to another. (That is a fragment, not a complete sentence.) In other words, if they save time, they can do more things, make a lot of value. Secondly, Second, for a long trip, sitting on the plane is the most comfortable. (Compared to a bus or train?) The reason is that passengers supplied with meals by flight attendants. 9You wrote a noun phrase, not a dependent clause. You have to put a dependent clause here.) Furthermore, they can enjoy in-flight entertainment with films and music.

On the other side of the debate though, many individuals argue that air travel has several disadvantages for some reasons. Firstly, First, using this type of vehicle harms natural resources. (Do you mean water in rivers and lakes? Does it damage oil or coal? You need to be clear when you write - natural resources could be many different things. ) This means that the aircraft must consume an amount of fuel in a flight. (That sentence makes no sense. Because it harms the natural resource, it has to use fuel?) This fuel is a non-renewable resource. As a result, it is causing irreparable damage to the environment such as global warming, climate change, and greenhouse gases. (That is not logical either. Your arguments must be logical.) Secondly, Second, aircraft can cause noise pollution when taking off or landing. This sound is annoying for residents living near an airport and around the flight paths. The noise created by planes can cause ~~strokes and~~ headaches.

In conclusion, while it is true that air travel enhances global transportation, (You never answered this topic accurately. You did not read the instructions carefully enough. I think that there are still harmful effects of aircraft used (wrong word) on human health and the environment ~~for the reasons mentioned.~~

ILETS WRITING TAKS 2

Please give feedbacks and help me point out the mistakes and give me a band score too! Thank you so much!

Some people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been very beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that it has had a very negative impact. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions