If I ever heard one

[nq:1]I hear people use the phrase "if I ever heard one" all the time. It does appear to work as ... list it, and I spent the last 20 minuets googling for a definition, but to no avail. Can anyone help?[/nq]
I'm not sure what you are referring to. If you've heard it "all the time", it must be something in your "neck of the woods". You might try asking, you know, when you are getting this from

The meaning here is something like "It's a definite case of multi-purpose excuse". Sometimes there's the additional implication: "because it's a blatant and/or extreme case of multi-purpose excuse". And sometimes the meaning is closer to, "If anything counts as a multi-purpose excuse, that does", "If the words 'multi-purpose excuse' apply or could apply to anything at all, the range of application

[nq:2]I hear people use the phrase "if I ever heard ... googling for a definition, but to no avail. Can anyonehelp?[/nq]
[nq:1]I'm not sure what you are referring to. If you've heard it "all the time", it must be something in ... head, what the **** it means. I mean they are saying it so they should know what they mean, right?[/nq]
Maybe I should have mentioned that living in a non-English

[nq:1]I hear people use the phrase "if I ever heard one" all the time. It does appear to work as ... list it, and I spent the last 20 minuets googling for a definition, but to no avail. Can anyone help?[/nq]
Stop dancing!
[nq:1]Ex: "Now that's a multi-purpose excuse if I ever heard one."[/nq]
It means "if I have any experience in the matter".

[nq:1]I hear people use the phrase "if I ever heard one" all the time. It does appear to work as ... a definition, but to no avail. Can anyone help? Ex: "Now that's a multi-purpose excuse if I ever heard one."[/nq]
Going back to simpler examples, usually it would mean "It must be an X. I can recognize an X when I see one, because I've seen Xs before." Or in this case, hear.
Checking Master

wrote on 20 Dec 2004:
[nq:2]I hear people use the phrase "if I ever heard ... "Now that's a multi-purpose excuse if I ever heard one."[/nq]
[nq:1]Anyway, I assumed this phrase was in wide usage, but you seem to suggest otherwise. Is it used predominantly in the US by any chance?[/nq]
It's very commonly used in the US at least it was when I lived there (1943-83).
It's actually ellip

[nq:1]I hear people use the phrase "if I ever heard one" all the time. It does appear to work as ... list it, and I spent the last 20 minuets googling for a definition, but to no avail. Can anyone help?[/nq]
Sure. It is a very common phrase, as you said. A variation on it is "if I ever saw one", which it may well have originated from.
[nq:1]Ex: "Now that's a multi-purpose excuse if I ever

[nq:1]"If ever I" and "If I ever" mean the same thing. Here are some more examples, from Literaturepost.com: The Head ... poor wretch, if ever I saw a lost soul I beheld him standing before me there in Colonel Belford's library."[/nq]
In Britain the idiom version is invariably "if ever I saw"; it would be interesting to know whether the British authors in those examples have been misquoted. Th

And with the implication that "I have plenty".

Mike Nitabach

[nq:2]The Head of the House of Coombe by Burnett, Frances Hodgson ...[/nq]
[nq:2]Her eyes glowed with actual rapture. "My word! That's a ... if I ever saw one." "What makes you think so?"[/nq]
(snip)
[nq:1]In Britain the idiom version is invariably "if ever I saw"; it would be interesting to know whether ... misquoted. The Wodehouse example is especially interesting, given that the inv