Ietls Writing Task 1: Aged population

The line graph depicts the demographics for people at advanced age in three nations, namely: Japan, USA and Sweden during the period 1940 -2040.

Overall, all three countries possess a relatively slow figure for older people in 1940. In which, USA was the country that had the most aged population. However, Japan is the country to be predicted to become the world’s most aged country of all three countries in 2040.

During the first two decades, the percentage of the elderly at ages 65 or over were lower that 10% in three countries. In which, Japanese older persons accounted for only 5% and was the least aged country among those reported.

From 1960 onwards, the shares of USA and Sweden gradually increased, while that of Japan was in the opposite trend. Circa 2000, life expectancy of Japanese nationals started to increase with the data again reaching the 1940’s level. Moreover, Japan is predicted to enter a considerable ageing process during the course of 2020-2040, when the percentage of older people surpassed both USA and Sweden (27% of Japan compared to 25% of Sweden and 23% of USA), making it the most aged population country in the future.

Please help me correct this essay.

Thank you so much in advance.