IELTS.My Essay.. Check and comments needed

0 IELTS02br
00TOPIC: The responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned02br
00- What are the main advantages of banning private education?02br
00- Are there any circumstances where private education should be allowed?02br
00- What is your opinion on the matter?02br
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00 Most parents are considering where they should send their children to study ; to private school or government-owned school. Both of schools have their own advantages and disadvantages. So is it a good idea to ban private education and give the responsibility for providing education only to the government? Is it good enough if only the government handle the education system in our country?02br
00 There are some advantages of banning private education. One of the advantages is it can reduce social discrimination between high level society and low level sothet tenciety. Since most of the student who study in private school or private institution are rich people, so they tend to make friends only with rich people. It leads to the discrimination between high level society and low level society.02br
00 Other than that, because of the existense of private institution, some students from rich family did not perform well in their primary school and secondary school. They think that even they are underachieving they still have the oppurtunity to study in private institution which will consume a lot of money. This leads them not to give full effort in gaining knowledge.02br
00 In some situations, we still need private education. With the existense of private education, it may helps the government to improve the quality of education in our country. It also provides more spaces for students to continue their study. This can reduce some of the government's budget in education sector.02br
00 Foreigners who stay in our country will send their children to the international school. Almost all international school is privately owned in our country. This can improve our country's economy since there will be an inflow of money to our country. The foreigner will spend a lot of money for their children's education.02br
00 In my opinion, private education should not be banned. One of the reasons is it can add a competition to all schools and institutes. All school and institutes will try to become better than each other. Thus, the quality of the education in our country can be improved.02br
00 The second reason is private education can create some jobs in our country. This is a big oppurtunity for those who are unemployed to work with the private sector; as a teacher or even as a staff. No age limit in private education encourage retired people to work back.02br
00 In conclusion, private education should not be banned because it gives a big impact to our country's education and economy. Without the private education, there will be less competition between the schools that may leads to a non-improvement to the quality of education in our country.02br
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00Thx for your time!02br
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00band and marks welcome..0-