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Hương Nguyễn (Phoebe) Posted 9 years ago
Grammar

Ielts wrtting task 2 - Can you please help me correct it?

Question: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is undeniable that nowadays, countries have the tendency to be more and more similar, this is, can be derived from the fact that people are able to purchase the same goods from all over the world. At first, this trend seems to reflect the good sign of development. However, personally I think this is a disastrous development for countries, or even destroy the country’s economy. In this essay, I am going to examine certain negative impacts of this tendency.

One of the most obvious effect is that the diversity of merchandises will be shrank which leads to many consequences. Several products which symbolizes the tradition or unique for each region or country likely to be replaced by imported or international brands. Besides, the tendency of globalisation creates the chance for people to purchase more merchandises from international and charismatic brands. As a result, many small and medium-scaled companies cannot survive and will be vanished. This result will trigger the unemployment, which becomes a burden for country’s economy. In addition, the fall of production will result in economic depression.

Apart from that, tourism is also significantly influenced. Since the lost of several specialties and unique goods or souvenir happen, tourists may feel bored. Because now they can buy the same stuffs at anywhere, the tourism site becomes less attractive and more or less indifferent to others. Therefore, the income that the country can get from tourism services will decline.

All in all, in the era of globalisation, people all around the world have chances to get the same products from anywhere but it is essential to maintain the variety of goods as well as ameliorate quality of products from small and medium-scaled manufactories so that they can compete with international brands and sustain

  

Top answer

I have highlighted the text which is unnatural English or contains errors. ) to be more and more similar, this is, (Missing subject) can be derived from the fact that people are able to purchase the same goods from all over the world. At first, this trend seems to reflect the good sign of development.

  • I have highlighted the text which is unnatural English or contains errors.
  • ) to be more and more similar, this is, (Missing subject) can be derived from the fact that people are able to purchase the same goods from all over the world.
  • At first, this trend seems to reflect the good sign of development.
  • However, personally I think this is a disastrous development for countries, or even destroy the country’s economy.
  • In this essay, I am going to examine certain negative impacts of this tendency.
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I have highlighted the text which is unnatural English or contains errors.



It is undeniable that nowadays, countries have the tendency (That was not in the topic question.) to be more and more similar, this is, (Missing subject) can be derived from the fact that people are able to purchase the same goods from

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