Ielts writting task 1

Here is my writting, I'm looking forward to receive your comments. Thank you!

The given graph demonstrates the numbers of commuters using the London Underground system at specific hours of a day.
In general, the system served a large number of users in the daytime compared to the evening and was crowded the most at two different hours, 8 a.m and 6 p.m.
Looking at the detail, there were 400 people using the system at 8, which is the peak hour in the morning. By contrast, the number fell by half after two hours, to approximately 200 people, and then rose gradually to 300 at 2 p.m. After this, the system witnessed a dramatic change in the numbers of visitors.
At 4 p.m, the system recorded the least numbers of traveller in a day, with only 100 people. Eventually, the figure went up to just under 400 at 6 p.m before dropped to about 150 passengers recorded at the end of the day.