Ielts writting task 1

Question

The bar charts compared two separated period 1991 and 2007 in terms of the percentage of housing owned and rented in the UK with fours factors home owner, social renting, private renting and social housing.

Overall, the total amount of proportion housing owned and rented in 2007 was clearly higher than the year of 1991. The home owner accounted for the largest percentage among four categories.

By 1991, home owner reached the highest proportion around 60%, and saw a significant increase from 60% to 70% in 2007 and became the largest segment of the bar charts. Social housing, which was the least significant part of the chart, stood at 6% in 1991 before dropping gradually to only 2% in 2007.

Social renting accounted for 23% in 1991 however became less popular in 2003 and followed social housing to hit a free fall to 17%. Private renting remained unchanged through all the period shown around 11%.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The bar charts compared (use present tense for charts and graphs) two years, ~~separated~~ ~~period~~ (wrong word. A period is a span of time with a beginning and end. 1991 and 2007 ~~in terms of~~ the percentage of housing owned and rented in the UK divided into ~~with~~ fours (wrong form) ~~factors~~ categories: home owner, social renting, private renting and social housing.

Overall, the total amount of proportion housing owned and rented (that does not make sense) in 2007 was clearly higher than ~~the year of~~ in 1991. The home owner accounted for the largest percentage among the four categories.

Example:

Overall, the total number of homes was much higher in 2007 than in 1991. In each of these years, the majority of homes were occupied by the owner, with social renting being in second place.

By 1991, ~~home owner~~ homeownership was ~~reached~~ (wrong word. Reach implies a movement or change from an earlier time, and there is none here.) the highest proportion around 60%, and ~~saw a significant~~ (Do not use "see". Numbers do not see things.) it increased from 60% to 70% in by 2007 and became (wrong verb. It was the largest in both charts. "Become" means a change from one position to a different position. It was still in first place. It did not change.) the largest segment of the bar charts. (There are no bar charts in this graphic.) Social housing, which was the smallest proportion ~~least significant part of the chart~~, stood at 6% in 1991 before dropping gradually (wrong expression. "Gradually" means a slow change over time. You can use it for line graphs, but not charts with only two points in time. You cannot tell if the drop was sudden or gradual.) to only 2% in 2007.

Social renting accounted for 23% in 1991 ~~however~~ but it was ~~became~~ less popular in 2003 (??) and followed social housing to hit a free fall (That is not a math or science term. It is also incorrect. You do now know what happened in the years between 1991 and 2007.) to 17%. Private renting remained unchanged through all the period shown (That is incorrect because you have no idea what happened in 1994, 1996, 1998, 2000 and so on.) around 11%.

Ielts writting task 1

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