IELTS WRITNG TASK 2 (No.2) PLEASE HELP ME CHECK IT

TOPIC 2: In many cities,, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people have a positive attitude that using video cameras in public areas can lower the criminal level but others worries about personal privacy. From my point of view, I strongly believe that setting camcorders in public places brings about more advantages than disadvantages.

Putting video cameras around the public areas sometimes raise some concerns about privacy. Residents can sense being tracked which means their seclusion spaces are not being guaranteed. Therefore, they feel disturbed and uncomfortable when they are outside. Second, recorded videos including personal images can be used without their permission, which consequently affect their private lives.

Besides, there are several advantages of using video cameras in the public places. They can be very useful when police need evidence about cases or accidents. For example, when a car accident happen, police can rely on videos which are recorded by closed - circuit televisions to clarify the causes. In addition, criminal level can be reduced by the public video cameras. When a person is about to commit the crime, they feel being watched due to cameras are everywhere. Thus, they are afraid of being caught with stored evidences then they will hesitate and probably give up carrying out harmful actions. As a result, the criminal level will be decreased.

In conclusion, using closed - circuit televisions in public areas have both benefits and drawbacks but usefulness can outweigh the downsides.