IELTS Writing - Thank you in advance for your correction!

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My answer:

It is assumed that bookworms have more imagination and language skills than people who like to watch TV. I totally agree with this idea.

Firstly, reading books is a habit that can make amazing effects, including the development of imagination and skills of language. Even though people read the same book, they will have different images in their minds. Besides, when people read the old book for the second time, they will not have the same thoughts as the first time. Moreover, it is interesting to read original book than a movie based on it. In movies, the audiences can only see issues through the director’s perspective. It is easily proven when a famous novel is being screened to become some movies (only one of which stands out in the crowd).

Secondly, language skills are being more absorbed when people see words and brainstorm more than just motion pictures. There is no doubt that watching TV has some specific benefits but in terms of language skills, reading books outweighs far more than it. Reading books gives people time to stop for a while, think, fast-forward or rewind as they want to. In my opinion, there is no coincidence when the society encourages people to read more and more, especially young adults, to prepare themselves for their future, which sometimes shocks them when they are not ready to face the hardship.

For the reasons I mentioned above, I believe that people who like to read books more than watching TV will develop more imagination and language skills.