IELTS writing test - Task 2 - Please help me on my essay

Hi, I'm going to take IELTS test and I would need some help with my writing. I'm thankful in advance for any corrections, comments or suggestions.

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.

What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

It is becoming more and more common that people with academic degrees leave their countries to find jobs abroad. Main reason is better quality of life that specific countries offers. However, this causes various problems to third world. In order to prevent that in the future, some changes have to be made.

Migrations of well-educated population have widely affected globalization. Doctors and teachers move to more developed countries such as the UK, and the USA. As a result the third world countries suffer from lack of workers in that fields. India is such an example, where young adults with good academic and practical skills leave their motherland, to pursue their careers. As a result of lacking workers is field of medicine and education, India’s public services are weak and it is not developing sufficiently. Citizens with special illnesses might not receive the essential health care treatments, therefore they will need to look for this abroad.

As generally this does not affect poorer countries positively, few steps can be taken to prevent that. Starting with, government should provide competitive salaries for education and health care field. In that case, people would get enough financial gain to cover their life expanses. Following, even though higher salary would provide for better quality of life, little financial help for young families would bring many benefits. Financial gain would not only make newborn’s supplies more affordable, but would also ensure that people would starting to create family earlier. That can positively affect society by increase birth rate.

In conclusion, well-educated people are moving to richer countries, which can adversely affect third world on long term. In order to prevent that, government should increase salaries and give financial gain to young families.