IELTS Writing tasks 1 and 2. [London Underground graph and financial aid from rich countries]

Good afternoon,

I hope you are all having a good day. Today I'm posting here to ask for some help. Next Saturday I'm taking the IELTS exam as I'm required to get a 6 in overall in order to be admitted in a university in London. I have been practicing different types of test with my teacher but I have been only one week with her and now I'm alone. I have writen those two task from an IELTS writing exam and I would really appreciatte if you could check them and provide me some suggestion of improvement.

TASK 1

The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

MY WRITING

In this graph we are presented with the Underground Station passenger numbers in London by hour from 6.00 to 22.00. The information is showed as a graph.

We can observe three main peaks on the passenger numbers along the day. The first peak appears at 8.00, coinciding with the morning commute. The second peak, being noteworthy that it is a smaller peak compared to the other ones, appears at around 14.30, when some workers finish their workday. Finally, the third peak appears at 18.30 and it is almost of the same magnitude as the first one. It is also remarkable that there is a small peak at around 21.30 Between those peaks the number of passengers drops.

The graph also shows that the number of users of the underground never goes below 100 or above 400.

In short, the highest number of passengers in the underground of London appear at 8.30 and 18.30 which is something that can be expected as those hours coincide with the start and the end of the workday.

TASK 2

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

MY WRITING

Many organizations offer different ways to use your money to help poor countries with their problems and almost everyone knows that this money is helping someone. However giving money is only a temporal solution that only covers the top of the problem when we should take care of the root of the problem in order to solve it definitely. Therefore developed countries should provide different types of help rather than just giving money and I agree with what is stated in the topic.

Take for example the problem of the food. Many countries lack the food they need to feed all the population and therefore there are a lot of deaths due to starvation. We can approach this problem from two different points of view. The first one would be that rich countries spend some money to buy food for the inhabitants of those countries, nevertheless that food would be rapidly consumed and the problem would arise again. The second one would be sending experts in agriculture to the country itself so they can develop a plan to make the land more fertile and explain the people how to improve their agricultural techniques. By providing those countries with the tools needed to become self-sufficient we destroy the problem from the root so it will never appear again.

In short, giving money to the poorest countries may seem to be a good solution to their problems as money can buy almost anything. Despite this, donations are only a temporal solution and therefore we should seek definite solutions that focus on what causes the problem and not in the problem itself.

Thanks!