[IELTS WRITING TASK2 ] Mixed-level or Separate classes ?

Could you please kindly evaluate my essay and give the band score for it?
[TOPIC] Some people think that children should learn to compete, but others think that they should be taught to cooperate with others. What is your opinion?

[ESSAY]In this day and age, an increasing number of people are concerned about educational methods applied in schools. While some suppose that there should be a competitive environment between schoolchildren, others hold the belief that it is better to teach them to work together. From my perspective, I strongly support the second idea.

First, it is obvious that working as a team enables pupils to mutually interact that contributes to develop skills for teamwork and build up relationships between members in the class. By collaborating with friends, not only will they be more confident but also learn how to control their emotions. In addition, recent studies have shown that children who experience a rewarding friendship before the birth of a sibling are likely to have a better relationship with his or her brother/sister. Hence, it is vitally necessary to maintain collective consciousness in schools.

People who harbor the view that competitions are of positive impacts on their offspring are partly right. We cannot deny that the sense of rivalry can push students to study harder. Nonetheless, if one considered the bigger picture, it would be clear that there are some drawbacks as learners might overly pay attention to the subjects instead of reaching a balance between studying and entertaining, not to mention that early friendships may collapse if the students are too obsessed with competing against their peers. Furthermore, this potentially forms negative characters as antisocial or being hungry for success that gives rise to disunity.

In summary, in spite of the fact that there are some advantages in competitive classrooms, I think the pros do not outweigh the cons. Nevertheless, nothing in teaching is completely black or white. Teachers can incorporate both into class but be careful not to make this into a matter of winning or losing. (297 words)