Ielts Writing Task2

Prompt: It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries.

Please help me check this essay and give me some feedback. Thanks for your help!

Some people believe that assisting all underprivileged people all over the world is unfeasible, as a result, the governments should only be concerned about the sake of their own citizens. Although to some extent, it is challenging for them to partly take responsible for the development of other badly-off nations, I totally disagree with this view.

On the one hand, the hesitation of some countries over the provision of international aids to deprived regions is legitimate. The first reason for this is that pouring a large amount of money into international charitable funds can result in a loss of governmental budget. This will lead to the increasing foreign debts, which retards the economic development of a country. Furthermore, the benefits that a developing country reaps from these funds and aids may potentially be watered down to the needy class since they will be hoarded by the elite.

On the other hand, governments ought to support other developing and underprivileged countries as a moral duty and for the development of the whole world. First, thanks to the financial support from other affluent countries, an impoverished country can alleviate the poverty and improve the living standard of its own citizens. For example, Vietnam used to be a poor country, facing the aftermath of many wars but the aid from Japan has enabled Vietnam to become a country with growing prosperity and in need of little help from other nations. In addition, some country have to confront far-reaching problems, such as terrorism and contagions. These problems could also have an adverse impact on the world as a whole since diseases can spread and terrorist organizations can tempt people to fall foul of the law.

In conclusion, although focus on the well-being of their own countries is their fundamental principle of governments, they need to join hands to help underprivileged countries with an aim of developing altogether and rescuing people from poverty, starvation and the like.