IELTS Writing Task I - Acadamic

Hi teacher, I am a new one here. I am going to have an IELTS exam next month. Could you revise my IELTS essay? Thank you very much.

Topic: The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of people in three countries at the age of 65 or more during the period from 1940 and 2040.

Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the percentage of population aged 65 years and over in each country was expected to witness an upward trend over the time frame. Additionally, the figure for Japan was predicted to experience the most dramatic change.

In 1940, the percentage of the population at the 65 years old or more in the US stood at approximately 10%. The figures for Sweden and Japan were lower, at around 7% and 5% respectively. There was a gradual increase in the proportions of elderly people in the US and Sweden over the next 50 years, reaching just 15% under 15% in 1990. By contrast, the percentage of Japanese population aged 65 years and over remained below 5% until the early 2000s.

In the future, prediction reveals that Japan will register a sudden rise in the proportion of elderly people, producing a peak of roughly 27% in 2040. This figure will be followed by about 25% of Swedes and 23 of Americans.