IELTS Writing Task I

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph compares the ordinary temperatures each month between Paris, Dubai, Sydney throughout a year.

Roughly speaking, two of the cities has a decrease in their amount of rain over the year. However, Sydney is the only city which has the least rainfall in the middle of the year.

Dubai was the city which had the greatest rate, especially from May to November and it reached over 35 degrees. At first, the amount of rain in Dubai was around 5 degrees lower than Sydney at 18^C but surge to more than 30 in just few months. Although Paris rose significantly around the middle of the year at 16 to 20 degrees Celcius, it presented the lowest figure at the beginning and the end of the year about no more than 5 degrees.

On the other side, Sydney's rainfall dropped gradually from almost 25 to under 15 degrees in 7 months. Opposite to this, the city still climbed up marginally to around 22^C in December and had more percentage of rain more than Dubai at the time.

(180 words)

Can I get som corrections and advice for me about this task, please?