Ielts Writing task 2. Would you please review my writing? Thank you a lot.

Topic : The government should invest money in teaching science rather than
in other subjects for a country’s development and progress. To what extent do
you agree or disagree?
Many people have different views about if government budgets should only be
spent on providing the knowledge of science subjects to develop their country. In my
view, I agree that focusing on these subject help a country’s development. However,
it is not better to ignore other subjects.
There are several reasons why it can be argued that a country’s progress will
go up when focus on teaching science-related subjects. Firstly, many of the scientific
breakthroughs heavily depend on the knowledge of mathematics, physics, and
chemistry. for example, it is impossible for scientists to carry out research and invent
new drugs without the knowledge of chemistry. Secondly, studying science subjects
requires learners to have skills about solving the problem, they need to find solutions
to a wide range of different problems which can help their imagination and creativity
or they thoughts can be more sensible.
On the other hand, it is impossible that neglecting the other subjects. It seems
to me that students should also pay attention to other subjects. Perhaps the reason
is that international trade has an important role in the economy of many countries.
This means if the country still has a problem about communication because of their
the narrowing of language. Therefore, the government needs to invest in the
teaching of foreign languages. Furthermore, subjects such as geography or biology
equip students with knowledge of natural habitats and species, which could help
them to be aware of the importance of environmental development.
In conclusion, I believe that beside spending on teaching science subject, it is
also necessary for other subjects to be taught and invested by government.