IELTS Writing task 2: ways to successful career

I'm preparing for my IELTS exam. Can you please review my essay? Thank you!

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

To achieve success in their careers, people often wonder whether they should pursue higher education, or take a job as soon as they finish high school. While there are benefits to attend university or college, there are also good reasons why it might be beneficial to have a work after people complete high school.

On the one hand, the option to continue studying at a university or college is attractive for several reasons. Firstly, people with a university degree have more chances to earn higher salaries. Some certain jobs, such as a lawyer or doctor, offer extremely good wages, and they also require many qualifications from candidates. As a result, those who have studied at college will have more advantages when they apply for this sort of professions. Secondly, people who choose to pursue higher education may become expert in their field more quickly. At university, many excellent professors, who have profound knowledge and experiences in their fields, can provide students with relevant courses. Students, thus, can deeply understand these fields and quickly become masters like their tutors.

On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why many people decide to land a job after finishing high school. First, people who choose to get a job straight after school are more likely to progress rapidly in their career. For instance, employees, who work at an office, have an opportunity to work with others from different backgrounds, which allows them to obtain relevant experiences, and this sort of experiences help them directly promote their careers. Furthermore, it is more independent for people who have a job after completing high school. Unlike those universities attender, who often need support from their families with their living expenses as well as tuition, people who choose to go directly into the job market can live self-sufficiently with their own income.

In conclusion, it seems evident that both attending university or college and landing a job after finishing high school have their own unique advantages.