IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - TOPIC: HARD WORK

Please correct my ielts writing task 2 about hard work. Thanks a lot.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

It has been argued that nowadays some people tend to be diligent and hard-working whereas others seem to have no responsibilities to their work or study. Although a positive work ethic is desirable up to a certain point, too much hard work could be counterproductive and even cause bad effects on their health.

There are several factors why people become so conscientious. One key factor which drives people and makes them more studious is parental pressure. For example, some high schoolers in China, the world’s most populous country, are motivated to study hard as they do not wish to disappoint family members who expect them to apply to a top university such as Tsinghua or Peking. Besides, people also consider hard work as a mean to escape poverty and create a completely new life. Some employees in the USA, where the cost of living is the most expensive in the world, for instance, must assiduously work to earn a living.

Nevertheless, working or studying too hard is fraught with pitfalls. People who spend more than 8 hours a day being stuck behind a desk are susceptible to suffer from some mental illnesses such as workaholism symptoms. As a result, they would become more and more obsessed by their work and neglectful of their friends as well as family members, which would take years to recover. Additionally, students who pay too much attention to their study might confront stress, depression and even self-murder. In fact, Japan is the country which has not only the world’s most industrious students but also the highest suicide proportion due to the heavy academic pressure.

In conclusion, hard work is desirably appreciated, but overworking could cause side-effects and do harm to people’s health.